Well, it was a show!

So last night at Dark Lady was the first ever actual event put together by Bitchidence.com, and by all stretches, it wasn’t the worst thing that’s ever happened. To call it “hacked together” or “ill-prepared” might be an overstatement, but we still had a great time and managed to put together a super-fun event, albeit, a loud and liquored-up one. But that’s how we like it!

Anyway, it all started around 10p when we showed up at Dark Lady — and they already had a table set up, which for us was the first ominous cue that we were going to be actually judging people. There was nobody there yet, so we decided to sleaze down to 2xcess: Male Zone with Bomb Dome for shots! That’s when we ran into the manager down there who offered to bring dancer Charlie over to Dark Lady to participate in the HBC. At first, this seemed counter-productive to our goals of having an actual, legitimate, real-people contest like we’d been talking about for weeks, but at that point, we didn’t have ay participants yet so we took him — plus he has an actual hot body so it would definitely attract some interest, which we had a feeling we’d need.

We got back to Dark Lady by 11p and met some old friends who had come out to support us, making the night already worth the effort (awww). Over the next hour, we managed to con six more people into participating, dangling a $150 carrot and a $50 bar tab over them, which totally worked.

Then came the actual show, which began smoothly enough. The trouble came when it was time to judge, or more specifically, when the judging was going to take place. Nobody (least of all, us) had worked out the nuts and bolts of who and when to do what, so there were some stumbles, but nobody seemed to notice — that’s the happy buffer that liquor affords us at work! Once Bomb Dome got going though, basically ordering everyone to strip and show cock, we were reminded why we invited her to help us judge.

We were caught in an awkward position though, we admit. Our purpose was to provide bitchy commentary, but our desire to have actually decent looking people participate made it difficult to be total bitches to these guys — awful, juicy comments just weren’t totally applicable (well, for the majority anyway). Of course we didn’t realize that until the contest came to a grinding halt, which is what prompted honorary angels of the night, Jenna St. James and Vienna Marriott to step in and carry the damn thing to safety (which we thank them for because they could have very easily just let us die). The lesson here: putting on an event like this with audience participation is way harder than it looks, and there’s a lot to be learned from performers like Jenna St. James, Kitty Litter and Sabrina Blaze who do this shit almost every day.

The good part? Dark Lady was way busier when the contest ended than when it began, so we must have been doing something right! DJ AV8 helped us out from the booth, and the event had show-ins by Chris Harris, DJ Dena, the Perry Twins, and Providence’s newest DJ personalities, the Hampton Twins!

Special thanks goes to our good-sport contestants, CSGS Events, the Dark Lady and staff for basically letting us do whatever we wanted, our co-judges Bomb Dome and Striker, DJ AV8, Jenna St. James, Vienna Marriott, 2xcess: Male Zone, and you bitches for showing up to see us!

We had a great time and have some big things planned for the future that probably won’t involve us trying to ad-lib bitchiness with a drink in hand.