So, a friend of ours was in New York last week, ran into Amanda Lepore and asked her about her upcoming visit to Providence. Her response? “Huh?” With a little pressing, reminding her that her manager had worked with Chris Harris to book the event and that Providence was in Rhode Island, she still gave a “Whaaa???”. Regardless of how much this story tickled us, it pretty much sets stage for what ended up happening last night.

We showed up way early around quarter of 11 or so, to find mostly bar staff (classic Harris bar staff, whom we just love), DJ Dena, Harris himself, and the Lupo’s door staff and security. And nobody else. It was probably better that way since Dena struggled to keep the sound system actually ON for about 15 minutes. Then by 11:30, almost like clockwork, people streamed in from all directions, and we began to feel better about what was going to happen. Everyone showed up. Kitty Litter was sick, so Haley Star MC’d on stage, the thought of which we’re sure just made Kitty throw up (again). We saw drag queens, Boston people, Boston drag queens shamelessly flocking to impress Miz Lepore — though in vain, as the bitch can barely see or talk.

Everything was in place though, and we were totally flashing back to old days at Diesel and the Strand, so we got our drink on! Everything was a little too much like the old days though, because the drinks still SUCKED. And not like they were weak or anything, it was just shitty liquor — same as Big Scotty bars at Recess and old Trixx, and next door at Energy. Maybe the Roxy nights and hip-hop concerts go for that shit, but gays were less than thrilled. We knew it going in though, and we even asked Chris Harris if we could bring our own bottle to sit bitchily in our VIP area, but we were instructed to behave for Mr. Lupo because we have to get through the Deborah Cox party before we can engage in any more club fuckery at Lupo’s. So we drank the shitty liquor anyway (what’s a girl to do, really?) and quickly began stumbling after about 3 drinks. Nice.

Anyway, Amanda goes on stage at 1a as scheduled and repeats “my pussy” about 500 times, as scheduled — the trouble was that she was lip syncing. But there’s no singing in her songs, it’s basically all talking. Who has to lip sync talking? Come to think of it, we didn’t hear or even see her say a word the entire night. Maybe those lips muffle her speech, or they got tacky from the lipstick and got stuck together? Anyway, what was left was her just walking back and forth across the stage, lip syncing (essentially a Haley Star performance). Not that it was bad or anything, she still looked crazy, whipped out the puss-puss and earned her money — so who really cares, right?

In the end, we’re certain that the curiosity factor drove the night. Can Chris Harris still do Providence? Will Amanda Lepore flash that famous fake vag? Will the liquor still suck like always?

Yes, yes, one million times — yes.

Next on the Providance tour of duty is Military Ball at Therapy, which has never disappointed. Disappointed to do what, we’re not sure — but we’ll be there!

UPDATE: Thanks to the comments for reminding us — despite aforementioned issues, Dena really was totally on point last night and played the best set we’ve heard from her in a while.