Okay, so remember yesterday when we said we had no use for the boat cruise? Well we take that one back! Correction; we have no use for most of the boat cruise.

And why? Well let’s first ask ourselves what happens when we take a decent cross-section of Providence nightlife, corner them in a confined space with no exit for a few hours, and add liquor. These bitches practically have no choice but to put on some crazy shit!

So let’s all transport ourselves (in our minds) to the boat cruise last night, a decent amount of time after leaving the dock in Warren, and certainly enough time to slam a few drinks and begin not to care or think about what you’re doing — you’re in the middle of the bay, who cares what you do, right? This was the mind-frame of one Matt Adams, Energy owner Tommy Menna’s trouble-muse and traveling butt-boy who, after some deliberation among friends, decides how much of a spectacle it would be to shampoo Kitty Litter’s wig with his drink. Do underage drinking laws not apply in the bay? Well either way, that’s what he did, and was quickly left with the result anyone could have predicted — cats just don’t fucking like getting wet! Now picture getting a drunk cat wet, and you’re getting a better idea of what happened to send this story right off the rails — so after a little “what the fuck?” argument, Kitty makes the decision to smack Matt in the mouth a couple times to express her displeasure. Now Tommy needed that mouth in good condition for later, so in a move meant to protect his interests, Tommy swoops in with a blow to Kitty’s head, of sufficient force as to send Kitty’s now soaked wig flying across the room! This is where we offer a night’s bar tab to whoever sends us the best picture of this all taking place.

Now let’s return to reality here on land — these bitches are all still crazy! Since when is it appropriate for everyone in this community (fundraising drag queens and boy-toting club owners alike) to run around smacking each other in the face? Now we get a little pushy at times in public, but a spectacle of this magnitude, visibility and total inappropriateness, we haven’t seen for quite a while. This also isn’t the first time Tommy has gotten physical over some issue surrounding Matt — remember this? Matt of course just deserves a spanking for acting badly, but after all that the other two have managed to accomplish in this community and in Providence, neither of them could manage to control themselves? Maybe Kitty should take some of that benefit money and take a fucking kickboxing class or something!

So stepping back a little further, Kitty will obviously be having none of this (aside from her throwing the first punch, she’s essentially the victim here), this will obviously create just another rift in a community that still can’t come together properly — and at an event designed specifically to do the opposite. Charlie McGraw must be so proud.

Nice going, bitches!

So were you there? Got anything to add to this fuckery? And we weren’t kidding about the best picture, because know Jack won’t be posting any of it on his site!