So Thursday night was fun! All we did was go to Andy Morris’s Faggatron down at the Dark Lady. Was there homosexual intolerance? Nope! Was there people dancing on rearranged boxes in the dancefloor? Yes!

Rob and Haley Star on the bar? Check. DJ Mario spinning the same old crap? Double-check! The only think we couldn’t find was event promoter Andy Morris! Although, we did spot some crazy, cracked-out, blond and sequined blond bitch throwing toilet paper everywhere and acting like a robo–

ooooohhhhh there he is…

You know how some people are the “life of the party”? Well Thursday night Andy was a personification of the party — which was a cute idea, we just expected the Faggatron to be more Tin Man and less JonBenet Ramsey. Anyhow, it was busy, people definitely were dancing, and it was very much a Thursday night at Dark Lady — so long live Faggatron.

Friday night we walk into Dark Lady and are immediately in the throes of a dance with Karen Adams, Fox Providence news anchor — it was like some parallel universe, ass-backward version of Dancing with the Stars. Now as we wrote a few months ago, Karen and Providence mayor Dave Cicilline are buds so we knew he wouldn’t be far behind. And there he was — Eric Calcagni got the idea that we needed an introduction, and after a polite “thanks, we know each other”, Eric went back to making out with him. We have MB #3, everyone.

Anyway, after a quick sweep through Mirabar to find DJ Kenny still missing on another Friday night, we trucked on down to Alleycat to find the place much further along in construction than the last time we were there. The place is looking very good. We’re mainly talking about the bathrooms, there’s two now! And not just that, but granite countertops, new paint and fixtures, etc. — it’s not that we’re all about going to Home Depot, it’s that Providence gay bars, one by one are slowly pulling the community out of the idea that gay bars have to be dark, dingy and sleazy. That the gay community doesn’t deserve new facilities that are built just for us (Downcity has done a lot to fix this too). The Providence gay scene is becoming mainstream and it’s finally showing — that our gay bars are not just hand-me-down versions of straight bars with a new coat of paint. So thanks to Alleycat (and future Dark Lady), Downcity and State on Sundays.

Now if we can just fix Mirabar, Wheels, Eagle and Energy. Well, probably not Energy unless they get their shit together.