Friday night we had to make time for a Christmas party, which just happened to be in the old residence of one Chris Harris, who was not present — although somehow the apartment was setup very much the way Harris’s used to be because there was liquor everywhere. The party was fun, even though we knew everyone — our girl Hali and a few others had spent time coming up with interesting and complicated hors d’oeuvers to throw in our mouths. After a few drinks, though, it was time to try out Colosseum and hit the rest of the bars. Which were fine. We did make it back to said Christmas party after the bars closed to find everyone still there, but still don’t remember much about getting home, which is not new.

Saturday we had absolutely no intention of staying in on account of the impending blizzard, who does that anyway? Isn’t that the best part of a monster snowstorm? Heading downtown and getting wasted in a fully stocked bar while the snow piles up around you? Well apparently it isn’t, because bars and clubs all across the city managed to close early, leaving a small group of people (us) with little choice but to barricade ourselves on Federal Hill at our DJ Tommy Stylez’s house. Unable to find a party, Jenny Bomb Dome and friends happily join us at the Stylez residence and promptly calls the bootlegger. In case you’re unaware, a bootlegger is an unfriendly latino gentleman who drives around the ghetto, delivering bottles of liquor and beer at all hours of the night to lucky boys and girls fortunate to have his number. But before calling him, Jenny was forced to call AAA to change the tire she popped on the way over — and upon the AAA man’s arrival, backed up and knocked over a pet waste disposal bin with her car. Legendary.

After a few minutes of her dealing with the AAA man, we receive a text message from her asking for her ever-present bottle of poppers. Not about to disappoint, we fulfill her request and find ourselves drinking beer in the AAA truck while Jenny and the AAA man huff poppers! Fabulous. Until he tried to drink the bottle like a shot! We’re totally signing up for AAA! If only they’d hire service men who were hot instead of ones that will do any drugs and drink anything you throw at them. Next time.