So since GLO Bar has taken an unnecessarily dominant part in our lives as of late, it’s difficult to find a quiet place to sit and type, but we found it — at the high-tech laundromat on Broadway as we wash Glo’s bar towels, and incidentally, as Chris Harris was having his laundry dropped off and we got to chat with ex-Energy bartender Paul. Somehow we saw him with a washer and dryer, but whatevs.

Anyhow, here’s how our Saturday night out with Ada and Jenny Bomb Dome went: GLO Bar > Alleycat > Dark Lady > Mirabar > GLO Bar > Balloons > Therapy > Sports Tap > Glo Bar. It took us seventeen hours, but we did it — and even fit in a drunken game of oversized checkers — but we did it. We ended at Glo because they opened up at 8a for some breakfast thing, although we certainly don’t remember much of that. So home for a few hours then off to State for One Night with Parrys, Parrys Hampton’s MERI benefit and birthday party. When we arrived, Mr. Alex Tomasso commented on our present state as being “what the cat dragged in”, we were inclined to agree.

But no matter, in some Marriage Equality Rhode Island scheduling fuck, the organization just happened to be having another event elsewhere in the city on the same night as ours, possibly resulting in some sort of attendance conflict — so we accompanied Parrys and Ms. Sarah Beyers to the MERI event taking place in the basement Speakeasy of Local 121, to promote our event accordingly for the benefit of unaware MERI supporters. We came to find out that the two events were definitely not conflicting with one another as one was later and the other earlier; and one being One Night with Parrys, and the other lesbian speed dating.

Now we are still continually fascinated by the lesbian community in Rhode Island, probably in the same sense that the scientific community is still fascinated by the mysterious depths of the Earth’s vast oceans. Although we know it’s always been there, we still don’t know a goddamn thing about it. So everytime we get the opportunity to experience a specifically lesbian gathering, it’s like seeing some freaky sea squid light up like a disco ball before squirting black shit at you and screwing. That being said, we started by finding common ground with the obviously lesbian organizers of the event, namely, our involvement with MERI (well, Parrys and Sarah’s involvement, anyway) and smiled our asses off so as not to cause the lesbians to become uneasy in the presence of our overpowering masculinity. And it turns out that they’re exactly like us! Well, not exactly, and we’re not really that interested in attending lesbian speed dating a second time (for obvious reasons), but like a biologist with the crazy sea squid — we want to see it again.

Parrys’s night at State was fantastic — somehow they got everyone to pay a $5 cover (something we don’t think we’d be able to do), and Parrys got a pink cake topped with the un-blowable (ha) candles that nearly set the birthday girl’s weave on fire.

Special thanks of course to Marriage Equality Rhode Island for giving us a theme for a party, and oddly, Chicken of the Sea for donating $500 in fresh seafood to let us know that they’re not just canned tuna.