Saturday night we decided to take a break from Miami for the night and trek up to Ft. Lauderdale for a little gayness. It’s been our experience that while Miami Beach is totally gay, it’s also totally everything else (straight, black, hispanic, lesbian, ghetto, fabulous, and ghetto-fabulous). That’s probably why the gays seem to have claimed Ft. Lauderdale as their own — kind of like the gays have claimed Providence in lieu of a much less demographically focused Boston.

In any case, we decided to go down to China White, a very cool little spot surrounded by a few other clubs that seemed to carry on a theme (Rodman’s Rehab (it turns out, “Dennis Rodman” is a theme), The Art Bar). China White has this strong southeast Asia thing going on with leopard print walls, pounded metal chandeliers and a giant 30-foot tall elephant at the entrance. The joint is usually gay, but on this night was for the lesbians (ugh). Actually, we found them very nice, giving us this “oh how cute, gays!” kind of vibe. Thanks bitches.

30 minutes of that (cheap drinks though) and we were ready to split. So we traveled a little futher down Route 1 to Coliseum, where we assumed we’d find the gays, at last.

For those of you that haven’t made the trip, Coliseum is a space about the size of Roxy, with the vibe(sometimes) of the bar. Can’t go wrong, right? Well, we thought so too. Apparently there was some music festival nonsense happening in South Beach and the place was less than packed (and a bit scummier than we remembered). Not to mention the decorations being tired and the music lacking a certain coolness we’ve gotten used to in Miami. Oh well, at least we can drink until 5am, right?

Wrong again, this bitch closes it’s bar at 3!

With Miami only 30-40 minutes away, we contemplated shooting down there for last call somewhere, but decided to head back early and rest up for the next night (we’re glad we did).

Sunday night was by far the most fun night we had while in Florida.

We started out at the top of Collins Ave. at RokBar, Urb Magazine’s party presented by (and furnished with) free Zygo vodka. This place had the exact vibe we were looking for, along with the bitchiest doorman (to the inner bar where we accidentally found ourselves with $16 cocktails) we’ve ever seen.

Further down Collins we visited our old favorite, the Delano, where once again we commandeered another lounge-bed next to the pool to lie sluttily on for about an hour while we mixed a few more cocktails “by hand”. There wasn’t really a party going on, but there was house music and we find the atmosphere simply irresistable.

Next up around 2am, a few more blocks down Collins was the Chesterfield Hotel, which was hosting an all-night party presented by Grooverocket.com, no free booze though ($13 drinks).

Then on our way over to the Washington strip, who’s bass did we head calling from Ocean Drive? It was the Clevelander‘s, of course! We had to stop by for a couple drinks, like everyone else. The DJ was playing the usual fare that normal straight college people think is new hot shit (sorry bitches, it’s 3 years old). No matter, it made us feel nostalgic!

Then over to Washington for a hot minute at Twist to use the bathroom (that’s all the place is really good for, after all), and we were off to the Hed Kandi party at Mansion.

Mansion is one of the only places where we can justify(just barely) a $30 cover charge, but we always have a great time regardless. The place was packed, the music was fabulous, and the staff was friendly and had no trouble adding an extra $20 onto your tab when you’re too drunk to notice (oh well). We didn’t see anyone famous(except each other, of course ha ha) but the crowd was happy to share their ice with us so we could “augment” our drinks.

We bitched when the DJ shut down at 4:50am, but only until we realized we could save $10 in parking if we got our car out of the garage on 16th St. before 5. So there we were running up Washington…