Like we said before, there are 5 other categories for Providence’s best gay bar bartenders to win an award in, and here’s what we think of that!

Best Mixologist

Henry Duarte, Mirabar
What other bartender can spend his whole shift wasted (etc…), mix you a Mongolian without you or him remembering what goes in it, and still have it taste the same as the last one he made you? Nobody! That’s, who.

Best In Class

We reject this category on principle. There are no classy people in Providence.

Hottest Body

Kevin, Alley Cat
We give this pick to Kevin rather than the Trixx boys because we see him around more! Nobody seems to escape the black hole that is Big Scotty Allens Ave.

Most Milage

We reject this category as well (rather than give it to Henry as most would expect). Everybody knows they’re all whores; that’s the best reason to be a bartender in the first place!

Anyway, if you can even find one of these ballots, remember that your contact info is required and that it gets handed over (for $$$) to Marriage Equality Rhode Island.

Those committed bitches need all the names they can get!