Okay, we are so tired of not writing. Are you tired of not reading? Did you not just die while reading Nick Merollo’s letter to the city’s attorney assigned to his case?! Girlfriend sent that to her, the case’s judge AND some major news outlets. Not that they’ll probably bother with it, Providence politics involving club owners, certain patrons, and the Providence legal system can be tricky — and you’re likely to have stepped on toes without even knowing it (god knows we have…).

So (for now) let’s keep things light! For the past couple weeks, while you bitches are hard at work at your normal jobs, slaving away, while we’re not busy making sure GLO Bar doesn’t go ass-up, we’ve been out partying in the city! And not silly, light partying — we do dirty, crazy partying… actually it’s probably not what you’d think. Last week, Jenny Bomb Dome accompanied us to Therapy where around 6am, Jenny remarked at how funny it might be if we coned off Therapy’s dance floor, rendering it a caution area. So without much forethought, we sent our friend (and GLO Bar DJ) DJ Vasco down to Jenny’s car to fetch the cones that she routinely steals from roadsides and construction sites throughout Providence. Was it the most perfect plan? No! But really, who engages in behavior like that?

Balloons has also been a regular stop for us, especially now that we know it’s open on Wednesday nights. Often times we see our GLO Bar bartender Anita there, where she leads us from Balloons out to her car in the parking lot for a Corona out of the 24-pack stashed in her back seat. Love us some Anita.

We’ve also been having tons of fun with Ada lately. Last weekend we had a date Saturday night to go out and cause trouble downtown. When she couldn’t work us in the door at Mirabar at 1am because they were at capacity (which we think is more of a rough estimate than an actual number), we grabbed someone’s arm to look at their wristband color, and promptly headed to another bar to seek out the appropriate color — and so easily walked in Mirabar’s first floor door.

We still even go to Trannymania at Dark Lady on Wednesdays, which has found itself some interesting new faces. For example, the Skeletor-look-a-like cross-dresser can be found in hot pink fishnet stockings (we shit you not) hauling some ROUGH-looking men back to her RV parked in the parking lot. And Alejandra, the bitch who can’t seem to speak english and always performs songs that are sung only in Spanish — the numbers and outfits are still good though (although her outfits always seem to consist of one single piece of fabric). However, the more you see someone around in Providence, the more you eventually learn about them (whether they speak english or not) — so it was just a matter of time before we spotted her trucking it into CBC after her number at Dark Lady was done. Well, at least she brought it indoors…

Our very own Chris Harris and our very own Paul DelVecchio at Providence’s Lot 401 on Wednesday night. We’d care way more if there was a gay kiss involved.

No wait… we’d care the same as before.

Speaking of Gallery bartenders, which Galley bartender has been printing out various Bitchidence.com posts and comments and showing them to Bob Thibault (it’s more of a safety measure, we’re sure — Bob’s sight could be further damaged by harsh LCD screen light) so that Bob can have his attorney sue us for whatever it is he doesn’t like?

Thanks Bitch Button, and hi Bob!

No, someone like Peter Rauhofer didn’t get all pissed off and manage to finally knock us offline for a few days… as fun of a story as that would be. No, it’s much more boring than that — we forgot to pay our web host bill and they suspended the account without the courtesy of an email. Or maybe they did send an email, we don’t know — we’re simply terrified of Windows Vista’s Mail program and prefer to stay away from it.

Anyhow, things haven’t exactly been boring in downtown Providence — they’ve been downright out of control! For example, Ultra got shut down last night for hosting an all-ages night, then allowing up to twenty kids under the age of 18 to get drunk, meanwhile an undercover cop managed to get beat up, AND someone who was denied entry into the tinderbox picked up a velvet rope stanchion (yes, that’s really what it’s called), threw it into a passing car — at which point the car’s passengers got out an beat the crazy’s ass in front of the club. Ummmm… if that doesn’t shut down a club in one night, we don’t know what it takes! It actually highlights to us just how safe the gay clubs in downtown Providence really are… well, most of the time. If you don’t count the roofie-ing and crotch grabbing.

So, since the old Recess Pub is still closed, and the recent effort to re-open Elements got canned, and the Black Rep closed last month, Wheels is still under construction (along with the new Dark Lady, which keeps suffering miniscule code violations), and now Ultra is all kinds of fucked-up — and the people who went to Ultra definitely won’t be allowed into Colosseum — it feels like downtown’s nightlife has never been so much in flux.

Poor Nick Merollo!

First he’s involved in some… unpleasantness… a few months ago at State, then things continue to go awry when he lands a bar shift during our W*RK Friday nights at Glo Bar. Wait, what’s wrong with that? Oh yeah, Nick also bartends at the Gallery, and when owner Bob Thibault found out that Nick was working with us one night a week, Bob canned him!

Cold!

Apparently Bob’s not as far gone as we thought if he can still put two and two together. Well we can probably just add him to the list of people that Bob has banned and fired for being all-around dissatisfied with his bar — including us, Kitty Litter, and who else? Thank goodness we heard several weeks ago that Brown University was buying the building once Thibault’s lease runs out. Maybe they’ll actually do something useful with the place and turn it into a parking lot.

UPDATE: For some extra Projo reading about aforementioned “unpleasantness”, CLICK HERE. All of our friends are in it!

This comes as a surprise, and somehow, not as a surprise to find out that our trashtastic Trannymania cross-dresser Suzie was not the owner of the RV parked outside the Dark Lady two weeks ago last night. Why bring this back up? Because it was parked in the same spot again last night!

Determined to find out who brought their own hotel room to Trannymania with them, we soon discovered that it was in fact another, much older cross-dresser (or maybe a tranny) in a bird’s-nesty blond wig and a face like Tales from the Crypt — whom even Suzie seemed to hold contempt for, which seriously gives you an idea of what we’re talking about! And without shame, this bitch was clearly visible surfing the internet from inside the vehicle. Just priceless.

So can we officially claim Snow Street to be Providence’s new red light district yet?

Okay, okay, okay — back the fuck up!

Now please forgive us for being a little insensitive, but what in holy hell is going on down at Le Place in New Bedford?! Does a bitch have to pay this place a visit to uncover the origins of masterpieces like this?

This beauty was captured alive at ICRI’s Winter Ball two weeks ago.

Okay, so it’s pretty clear that January 2010 has been one of the missing months in Bitchidence.com, days and days without new content — it’s a wonder you’ve survived so long. But it’s not because we don’t care — in fact, it’s because we care too much – sleeping all day, out all night, drinking and whatnot… it’s hard work! (really!)

Anyhow, let’s go back two weeks to the Martin Luther King Jr. long weekend. We had DJ AV8 over at State and were geared up for a fun night. Now lately the crowd at State on Sundays is young, hot and sexually ambiguous — which is great, a unique, fragile vibe generates — we don’t know if they’re gay or straight, loaded or broke; trying to hard, or not trying hard enough. The night was tense though because of how many people were packed into the place, so we called in some security — not really sure what was going to happen. Would they fight? Or break out into some mass-make-out continuum? Or one then the other? Meanwhile, Mirabar was having their second annual Red Party. Now we don’t know about you, but we think that if it’s Martin Luther King Jr. weekend, and you have to have some sort of colored party, you either throw a Black Party or you throw a White Party — it’s just common sense. Never ones to stir up talk or interest, Mirabar chose to ignore the national holiday altogether and choose an entirely arbitrary theme. Or maybe it was Chinese New Year or something? Anyway, did you get a look at the pics Jack took? Maybe it’s some light filter or something, but everyone in those pics look a hot ass mess! It’s like seeing the FOX news reporters on that HDTV at Downcity, just back the fuck up!

Things at GLO Bar continue to chug along, the bartenders are turning over faster than Suzie at Trannymania — mostly because of stupid shit. No, you can’t drink the entire time you’re behind the bar. No, you can’t give free drinks to all of your friends. Even Eagle bartender Zack bailed on GLO and got back together with MERI die-hard Gary, although we’re pretty that was just a ploy to keep Zack out of GLO. We see Gary every so often, and always get a cold, blank stare — very similar to the stare you get from a raccoon hiding in the fir trees when you get home at night and get out your car.

Friday night we caught up with Sabrina Blaze and barhopped around the city, Sabrina dressed in an outfit similar to her Cruella from the calendar party benefit. We see Sabrina often, but she made it a point to let us know that she’s not leaving Dark Lady karaoke Tuesdays to go to Downcity karaoke Mondays — since there have been bizarre stories about how drag queens can’t do two consecutive karaoke nights at two different places. Personally, we think karaoke at Downcity is a mistake — none of those Tuesday people are going to pay the drink prices at Downcity, and there’s no fucking free pizza waiting for them when they get there!

Saturday we sleazed around the city with Jenny Bomb Dome, and after Dark Lady, GLO and Mirabar, trucked down to Balloons for her complimentary bottle of poppers and a drastically over-priced bottle of Hennessey. We don’t normally get ripped off on our after-hours booze, but at least we know it when we do. So then we arrive at Therapy, Jenny distracting the bouncer at the door so that he doesn’t pat us down and find the bottle of Henney tucked in the small of our back. Once inside, things are gravy — although after too much Henney we gagged and threw up all over Jenny and Richie D’s back (fresh from House of Blues w/ Chris Harris). And not gross food vomit (we don’t eat, remember) — it was fit for second-hand consumption!

Sunday was fantastic at State, trannies bar dancing, more sexually ambiguous college students, etc. Our girl Ada slapped the shit out of one of the hot bar boys in the back kitchen for not responding to her text messages, and Chris Harris brought a copy of the front page of the day’s Providence Journal for Alex Tomasso to sign… work!

Coming up? State’s first year anniversary of our gay Sundays, a very special long weekend party in two weeks, a drag look-alike contest and more!

Okay bitches, chew on this:

While it’s not “White Trash” party at the Dark Lady this week, around 12a the Lady’s Snow St. lot had an RV parked in it anyway. So a wayward snowbird got caught up in Providence and had to spend the night in a free lot, right? Not necessarily!

As it happens, our unimaginably sleazy cross-dressing Trannymania-anchor Suzie was up to (and on) some new tricks. It’s our understanding that the RV idling in the DL lot is Suzie’s new rental while she peformed Dido’s White Flag inside (it’s always about going down on something, isn’t it?) , and that the services of a close-by CBC, and an even more convenient Dark Lady bathroom; are no longer needed — because her new home is just seconds away, and running on diesel!

And just when we thought Snow Street couldn’t get any sleazier!

Anyhow, we’re not here to judge — it’s a good idea! And probably cost-effective, too. You know, pound for pound — or gallon for gallon…

Wonder what’s been up with Bitchidence.com lately? Fucking nothing! Our shiny white Macbook got lifted from State last Sunday (on Bitchidence.com’s 3rd birthday, no less) and we haven’t been online, so that totally sucks. We’re kicking around the idea of offering $500 to let us know who we can kick the shit out for stealing it, knowing full well that whoever is scummy enough to have done it doesn’t have friends loyal enough not to give them up for that much cash. Hey, $50 would probably do it. So now we’re stuck on a brand new shitty blue Dell that looks like a dildo with a keyboard, and we’re already anticipating problems like Ada had with hers. Loves it.

Anyhow, the city of Providence steams (in piles) ahead and it’s going to take a couple posts to get things back up to speed. But you know we will!

Nice class participation on the Bomb Dome vs. Snooki poll btw.