Left: Investigative journalist, Kitty Kelly
Right: Jayden Taylor in, umm, a wig.

This one came from you bitches, and is WAY too good to let rot in a comment string. The hair! The over-the-shoulder, coquettish, flirty face!

It demands a chuckle!

Okay bitches, we’ve been actually rather surprised by the popularity of “Drag Queen or Tranny”, even if the comment strings do keep leading to heavy-hearted, metaphysical discussions about drag queen versus tranny. So let’s switch gears for a minute and have some fun! (at others’ expense, naturally) Take a close look at this one, it’s a reader-submitted picture and we’re certain that it is NOT photoshopped.

Enjoy!

p.s. — do these polls display fucked up for you bitches? We use Safari and the grey box always extends further down than Fat Scott’s rap sheet.

As sickened as we still are from this still ongoing story-line, this one’s just in from the Bitch Button: Ryan Haxton has done so well in LA that they’ve created a wax sculpture with his likeness.

Wait nevermind, that’s him…

God bless the Bitch Button! How else would porn studios be able to contact us about the supposed “slander” of their employees?

Case in point; Ryan Haxton’s employer out in Arizona, Thexis, L.L.C., sent us the following email very patiently requesting that we stop talking about their employee lest they take legal action (believe us, we’re sick of this story and we’ve been trying to stop talking about him for months). Here it is in full:

To Whom it may concern,

As you know with any job you do you need to be protected. Porn is no exception. In order to protect Ryan Haxton I demand that you remove all his names, blogs and associations with Ryan Haxton and/or Porn names Jayden Taylor and Caden Boyd. We own all rights to these porn names. This site has slanderd Ryan Haxton and has caused him undue stress . We ask for all content to removed by Sunday April 19, 2009 from your site before we pursue this further in the court of law. You will be fully liable for any losses that our company suffers due to negative publicity of our porn employees.

Sincerley ,

Thexis, L.L.C.

Interesting, no? We think that it’s nice that Ryan’s company is willing to go to bat for him, it shows that it’s not all smoke and urine mirrors, and there’s still some heart in the porn industry. But do they have a leg to stand on here? Or can they really hang us out to dry without a pot to piss in?

Thexis can’t be all wrong here — it’s true that employees have rights that need to be protected… in the workplace. So shouldn’t Ryan have been wearing protective eyewear to prevent pink eye? Or maybe a protective mask to prevent second-hand smoke inhalation?

Now we agree that Haxton’s porn aliases are probably trademarked in some way, but his name is obviously his (unless he sold that too), and isn’t intellectual property. Besides, is Disney going to come down on us if we write a website claiming that Mickey Mouse sucks (or gets peed on, for that matter) — and where would Disney stand legally if those statements were actually true? Forgetting of course that Mickey is a cartoon…

Where does the line get drawn concerning internet censorship? You guys have proven to be a pretty legally savvy group — what do you think?

We wonder what the World Intellectual Property Organisation, or for that matter, the ACLU have to say about all this…

It’s no secret, we have a special place in our hearts for drag queens and trannies! Mostly because in addition to the typical backstabbing, catty-ness, witty digs at each other and jostling for position in the pecking order — underneath that inch of foundation, many of them are indeed truly extraordinary people doing extraordinary things.

And then some of them do porn! Yes, we all know about Suzie and her sleazy on-screen antics Wednesday nights at Dark Lady. She’s a grown woman though and is allowed to represent herself however she wants. But what if a drag queen did porn and also represented something else? Say like, the Missy Gay South Shore crown two years ago?

Yes, that’s Miss Gay South Shore 2007, Alexis Taylor we’re talking about. And here she is getting it in the pooper. And yes, it’s pretty obviously her.

Is there a “charm school” for the South Shore crown winners? Because we’ll bet it’s way more interesting than the Triple Crown RI one!

Left: Jimmy Gracik
Right: A crazy pussy in the sink.

Click here to read Ryan’s interview with some porn site. They actually stick it to him a little, which is funny, and they got some pretty telling quotes out of him. For example;

“when I first thought of getting into porn it was all when my friends and I were discussing how cute I was…”

and

“As for a talent, that would have to be my oral skills as well as being able to take hung/thick cocks as the top so pleases.”

Very much of it is drivel, but that’s to be expected.

And just to add to the ongoing comment string discussions under these posts — we don’t hate Haxton, and we don’t hate on him for no reason. He’s a cautionary tale and a very good example of what not to do with your time when you “take a year off” from college. Everyone has the right to fly out west and do piss porn for the entirety of their lives if they so choose. But if they were doing it in private and not posting their questionable sexual escapades on the internet where everyone outside of China can see them, then they’d be free from the ravages of public scrutiny. But they do, and they’re not.

The benefit of all of this is not to Haxton or any of the other porn messes we’ve put through the ringer, but to the cocky awkward JWU kid who thinks he can go off and do a few quick porn shoots for a couple grand and get away free and clear because it took place three time zones away. Wake up, bitches! And it’s not that nobody should be doing porn, but those who do should be able to represent and be accountable for line of work. For example, no more porn names — they obviously don’t serve their intended purpose anymore, and we’d have a lot more respect for Haxton if we saw his real name attached to one of those videos.

Well, not a lot more, but more.

Thoughts?

UPDATE: Click here to see more of Ryan getting smoke blown up his ass… literally.

We used to think that condoms and other safe-sex practices could protect you from catching disease from your partner, but there’s more danger out there that can still get you! It turns out that in addition to a long list including (but not limited to) HIV/AIDS, genital warts, gonorhea, syphilis and herpes, you can get cancer too! It’s true, bitches!

Don’t believe us? Well just ask Ryan Haxton in his latest straight-to-online download video featuring smoking as fetish. As if we thought this all couldn’t get any weirder, it does!

More of this can be found on pro-bareback sex blog, Rawtop.com, which goes on to say the following:

It’s a condom site so it’s OK in their eyes, but about 5 times more gay guys die from smoking than die from barebacking. Yet, I doubt anyone really cares that the site is eroticizing something that kills a lot of gay guys. Somehow the gay community has internalized the puritantical belief system of the straight world where sex is evil but more deadly things are just fine.

Interesting point! Either way, Ryan definitely gives new meaning to the phrase “smoking cock”.

Is the gay porn star becoming one of Providence’s major exports?

We have to give credit to Ryan Haxton for being our porn “star” pissing whipping boy — he takes it, um, well… at times….

But don’t get it fucked up, bitches, he’s not alone! Oh no! In fact, we’re beginning to wonder if Ryan may actually be one of the better paid porn messes. Even with the pee thing, which you have to admit was priceless.

Check out this list of “models” from just ONE website (that seems to be practically collecting local boys). How many of them do YOU know?

Vote!

Our count is 15! This makes us feel dirty! DIRTY!

If you want more laughs, check out the videos, there’s acting! Amazingly bad acting!
Everyone knows that all dialogue and acting in modern porn is kept to a minimum because, frankly, it’s extremely funny and distracting and looks like a middle school play. But Hometown Boys Wrestling League chooses to buck convention in favor of something way more painful.

Or, are you at work and don’t want to get caught viewing porn, but still want a laugh? Check out the Work For Us section of the website, it reads like a phone transcript of a creepy old man trying to be persuasive with an underage victim! With such amazing chunks of cheddar as “What sets us apart…is our interest in the body, NOT in the sex”, and “Don’t ever sell yourself short, thinking you can’t work for us.”, it’s a must-read!

And they’re doing things with birthday cakes! BIRTHDAY CAKES!

In case you haven’t noticed, we’ve made some changes ’round here! Now in our sidebar to the left, we feature your latest three comments for everyone to see. In addition to some other minor updates and edits, we’re working to bring you a bigger, better and more interactive Bitchidence.com!

If you bitches have anything extra you want to see on here, or any other ideas — hit the Bitch Button and tell us about it!

Speaking of interactive, our poll results predicting Ryan Haxton’s next porn venture are in!

An overwhelming 43% of you believe that Ryan is most likely to be found accommodating a clydesdale in his next feature film. Maybe a trip to San Antonio is in the works for Spring Break! Yee ha!

But seriously folks, we made it down to Mirabar for Retro night and found Haxton & Friends back on the box, his natural habitat — we got a smile but it was more of the type of smile that chimp gave that woman before he ripped her face off. We also caught up with slightly classier porn mess Stephen, whose pictures we brought you last week in this post. Looking down on Ryan Haxton on the box from the second floor, Stephen couldn’t keep from remarking on how, in contrast to Ryan, at least visitors have to pay to see him do “guy-on-guy”, while Haxton just gives it away — and throws in a mouthful of pee for good measure.

Then Stephen peed on him. Well, not really — but we’re sure he thought about it.

We also stopped by Dark Lady for “tranny night”, and were pleasantly surprised by how busy it’s getting on a weekly basis. People really wanna see those bitches sang!