1. forgot to send out subpoenas.
2. forgot to disclose witness list to defense.
3. forgot to uphold laws of how to avoid gay scandal!

Does this sound like your case? CALL ME NOW! (Miss Cleo… no idea? click hea

UPDATE: We were high and smoking weed with Ada when we wrote this (just look at the timestamp…). We do make an effort NOT to post while fucked up, but upon reinspecting this post for quality the next day, we decided to keep it! Who could edit out a Miss Cleo reference anyway?!

“tranimosity” — the innate bitchiness that ensues when two trannies meet face-to-face in the club, or anywhere else really.

Bitchidence.com congratulates Mr. Gordon Fox for bringing the gay to our state government hardcore as RI’s new Speaker of the House! What does that mean for gays? Well probably not a ton, Gordon’s not really a gay activist, just an openly gay government official — which in itself is surely a form of activism. Anyhow, we’ve had drinks with Mr. Fox more than once and can say for certain that if nothing else, the House is about to get a lot more… fabulous! CLICK HERE for Projo’s story.

Good luck bitch!

The day started at Downcity for brunch. It’s not quite breakfast and it’s not quite lunch, but it’s fabulous and it comes with a slice of cantaloupe. There’s always people we know down there so some ridiculous antics are typical and expected. Two bloody marys later we showed up at the Alleycat for a sangria with Michael Slade. Now we’ve commented in the past on how the renovations at Alleycat have been coming along — but the changes have never been so visible as when that big glass pane in the front of the bar went in. The place is looking fierce — congrats to Buck and Rande for pulling it together like that — it’s going to have street frontage like no other gay bar in Providence. Mirabar, the old Dark Lady, Eagle/Union and Wheels all have opaque, protective brick faces that seem to hide whatever it is we’re doing in those places. The Alleycat showcases us and invites people to see what’s going on, it’s fabulous. That is, until someone throws a brick through it and it becomes to expensive to replace. We’ll still enjoy it while it lasts though!

So after some socializing at Alleycat, we remembered that we had to buy Bernard a birthday cake for later that night. So off to Stop n’ Shop! Some broken-englished man reluctantly helped our drunken-in-the-daytime asses to write “Happy Birthday Bernard” on the cake. Unoriginal, yes, but it was either that, or “Here’s to 5 More Years, Drunkie”.

Anyway, we got to State later that evening around 10:30p, running a little late, showing up to find the place totally buzzing with people already. Great, right? But there was no fucking DJ, there was some silly euro-lounge CD playing — our DJ Marcus Christian had clearly spent too much time at Therapy the night before, didn’t get to bed and was now sleeping through his shift at State. Who does that? Now Marcus is a good friend and a good DJ, but shit like this is clearly not acceptable — how can we continue to use him? So we called in Tommy Stylez, who flew on over from across town to completely save the night — he was just sitting around about to go to bed anyway. Then Marcus showed up and we had to turn him away in the parking lot, lest Alex Tomasso bite off his head.

So the night totally packed, all night long. There was food, drinks and cake, and straight (?) JWU girls making out all over the place (not kidding) — it truly was a birthday party fitting of Bernard’s taste. Naturally though, something fucks it up and we end up dragging Gallery bartender Nick into the kitchen with a bloody face. Now we didn’t actually see what happened, but it was not a pretty sight. While it’s likely that there were some words had, the tiff eventually escalated into Nick on the ground being kicked in the face by two other guys. Seriously, who are these people that go around getting into fights with everyone? Since when is it okay to carry around such a penchant for violence? We can tolerate bitching, yelling and arguing, but the second people start putting their hands on each other, the whole situation degenerates and becomes completely intolerable. Nick spent the rest of the evening in the hospital and hit up the police station this morning to file a police report.

Get it together, bitches. Oh, and happy birthday Bernie.

We almost forgot! Well kind of, these have been languishing in a sub-playlist in our iTunes for about three days, it’s just a pain in the ass to get them in to the Streampad Wordpress plugin we use to stream it to your asses.

In case you’ve never tried it, go ahead and fuck with the dark blue bar at the bottom of your Bitchidence.com screen. Oh, and turn on your speakers. Not working? Ok, well are your speakers plugged in? Ok, plug them in, and commence play.

We’ve been watching Bitchidence.com’s web traffic for just about a year now, and it’s been quite a year!

Since November 2008, Bitchidence.com has been visited over 220,000 times, and by just over 20,000 unique visitors. To put these numbers into some kind of context, let’s assume the Providence gay community (out or otherwise) is made of 10% of greater Providence’s population, and you just know it’s way more than that — so one in three gays/lesbians/trannies has visited Bitchidence.com an average of eleven times in the last year.

That’s like publishing a monthly magazine! Which, of course, we have no interest whatsoever of doing.

So thanks bitches!

It looks like that silly anti-prostitution bill has indeed passed (36-2) and it’s now illegal to have sex for money indoors. Our condolences to the prostitutes, some trannies, employees of 727 and like a million “spas” in Providence.

We know that the law has never stopped anyone before, so you’re on the run now, bitches!

Which local whiner was seen exiting the mayor’s apartment at some ungodly hour last week?

Wonder what they were doing?

Look! Something new!

In an undying effort toward legitimacy, but not necessarily acceptance — we’re showing off our Networked Blogs widget in the left sidebar.

What does that mean? Hell if we know, but it looks cool and we get to follow you too! So click the “follow” button!

You’ll love it! (probably)

Which on again/off again Providence gay community columnist has been adding people to his Facebook so aggressively that he’s been reported to Facebook more than once?

Desperate!