This went down WAY faster than we expected!

The fire that was Glow at Club Elements has sadly been extinguished… The clubwreck night put forth by local promoters Glory & Jamie has moved to the used up Fahrenheit on South Water St. Are these bitches insane???? How is anyone supposed to get there?

South Water St. isn’t on a RIPTA bus line!

We give this until Labor Day tops.

So, the weekend was interesting, no?

Friday and Saturday were ho hum, the usual with nothing particularly lacking, we don’t think.
Sunday was VJ day in RI. Do you assholes know what that means? Shit is open til’ 2, as it is a state-recognized holiday thanks to the victims of Hiroshima & Nagasaki. Remember Japan!
And then forget with liquor!

Anyway, nobody was out & about. Mirabar? A wasteland! Dark Lady? Don’t kid yourself…

In any case, we ended up at Trixx for a little bit which was the busiest party in town. We spotted some regulars, but things didn’t get interesting until one of the strippers known to us approached our table with a white pill, curious to find out if he could sell it. We’re not fucking pharmacists, so we consulted the internet to figure out if we could lie to the kid and sell it ourselves… it turns out it was a Lipitor! Cholesterol medication! The next pill the boy brought up was a pill to help treat Type 2 Diabetes.

Leave it to Trixx to have bathrooms strewn with pills prescribed to geriatrics.

Monday night we went to Mirabar’s karaoke… again… grudgingly.
It was the usual night at MB, however our sweet little bartender Joel had his register robbed of ALL cash while he was outside having a cigarette around 12:15, leaving the TWO doormen to watch the bar from the corner of their eye. WTF? Poor Joel was fired on the spot for his carelessness. We’ve never heard of anything so deplorable here in Providence until we found out it was our very own Mirabar general manager, Paul Murphy who was to blame, as it was a prank on the unsuspecting sweetheart. We’re always down for inappropriate behavior, but this seemed a little harsh.

Anyway, we also found out this week about the “cancerous” DJ Playboy Marco headlining a new shit-show night at Energy on Thursday with the help of local hot mess Tony McGill as promoter. The flyer announces a hot body contest, with a cash prize of $75.
Who else sees something wrong with this? Mirabar has a hot body contest with prize money routinely in the hundreds of dollars, and Dark Lady has the same deal with a prize of $100 cash. Do these retards not go out? The icing on this one is that Tony McGill wants to bill this as a straight night.

We’re almost more likely to hit up an Elements Sunday than an Energy Thursday with that attitude.

Our last little bit of gratification is having called out a total and utter failure for Jamie and Glory’s Therapy night, for which they had 4 additional scheduled nights to promote for. Well, it turns out that after the first night, management had had enough of such bullshit, and Therapy is free again to operate (mostly) trashless.

Talk amongst yourselves!

Tomorrow night at Ri Ra. Don’t know what Gay Guerilla is? Look it up monkeys, we’re not fucking Wikipedia. Anyway, we might just go and help convince the live band that they have a huge gay following.

to see some of the funny outtakes from a photo shoot of the hotness that is local party boy Tony McGill.

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Can’t you just feel the std heat through your computer screen??????

So it’s been a little bit since our last post and things have definitely heated up here in Providence. Let’s start with the new gay Sunday over at Elements.

We still haven’t been.

We do know the place is dead and is mostly run by the same staff as the normal nights. Not a good way to score with the gays. We also found out that a couple Sundays ago cover was $10, and it came with party favors (a glow stick and death looks from the lesbos). Meanwhile the week before was free. Now we’ve always known that the best way to build a night is consistency in most every way, so we’re still staying away from this mixed bag.

Other nights of interest would be Tuesday’s karaoke at Dark Lady with that MC chick Paula. Not for nothing, but she’s lucky Sabrina Blaze takes over for most of the night — Mondays at Mirabar she has the charisma of creamed corn. We wouldn’t pick on people who didn’t deserve it, the folks from Soundstream must have had a few too many and they almost took out the front of our car getting on 95 north at the end of the night. Whoops?

In other news, we got an interesting story about our shady fav Big Scotty down at Trixx. Apparently one of the strippers’ wallets went missing Sunday night, and just like any responsible business manager, Big Scotty chose to personally impose a mandatory strip search policy on EVERY one of the strippers until the missing property was recovered. Isn’t that illegal somehow? Would you let your manager at McDonald’s feel you up if someone’s lip gloss rolled underneath one of the fryers?

Strippers unite!

Above: Family Guy’s Peter Griffin as Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman
Below: Miss Gay Rhode Island 2008 at the Battle of the Bitches, Dark Lady on July 27.