Bored at home with nothing to do? Probably!

Come with us down to State tonight to relax and have a few more drinks before you go back to work in the morning — and of course, to wish Miss Kitty Litter a happy 90th 57th 45th birthday.

We didn’t know it until we had to stop by there on Thursday, but Sunday has turned into State’s biggest night after its Friday! WTF? If you still haven’t been down there yet, there’s no cover, you get to sit on couches, listen to DJ AV8 spin a set completely different from Saturdays at Dark Lady, and you can look at bartender Jay (right and left of this screen) all night. Or you could just sit on Bitchidence.com and do the same thing. Either way.

UPDATE: The Miss Gay Pride thing was at Gallery tonight, and that whole crowd likes to do State as an after-venue, so if you want to see Sean Powell in drag (wait, why???) — here’s your chance.

Don’t take it from us, watch the video by RI Future as they go actually talk to them. Looks like we left out “Fags Are Beasts” as one of our favorite signs. That’s more of a statement of fact, though.

You can see the “Bitch Burger” sign!!!!!!

Dark Lady’s Buck and Chris Harris Presents’ Richie D simulating(?) oral sex on the dancefloor at Therapy last Sunday night.

At least the crack-heads had the decency to keep it in the bathrooms!

Alright bitches, everyone was at Chris Harris‘s last party at Lupo’s with Amanda Lepore. But the booze was wack, right? Hello, you voted it so!

51% of voters agreed that Lupo’s bar is fucked with more than we fuck with Tony McGill, while another 29% of you agree that the bar stock is definitely at least not 100% real. Now this would be all well and good if we were in Energy a dive bar and crappy liquor is expected, but the cover charge for Chris Harris’s Deborah Cox party on the Friday of Providence Pride weekend jumps to $30 at the door ($25 pre-sale) – who really wants to cough that much up and still receive well drinks (or worse) at the bar when we order a normal Stoli and Sprite?

So what the hell do we do? Well after we posted about the Amanda Lepore party, Chris Harris texts us completely straight-faced about how Roxy/Lupo’s bar is completely un-fucked with, even though 80% of you voted (and tasted) otherwise. So we’re challenging Chris Harris, as the gay community’s liaison to Lupo’s to prove to us that we’re getting the real deal come Pride Weekend – How, you ask? With a random, in-house bottle TASTE-TEST against independent control bottles (that we go to the liquor store and buy unopened) to determine quality personally. Hysterical! Can you handle it?????

Harris needs for his next night on June 19th to be fantastic, we don’t think Mr. Lupo he’ll refuse!

So did anyone go down to the “God Hates Fags” anti-protest protest?

It’s ok, you don’t have to admit it. We’d say we showed up and protested with them, but then we’d just have to back-peddal and say that we just observed. And not by choice, either. Why?

Because there was nothing to fucking protest against! It was… anticlimactic.

Like, four of them actually showed up against about 100 or so locals who just weren’t having it. The WBC people didn’t talk, or even hold the signs above their heads, or wave them around. Or move at all, really. And once we found ourselves in league with the college-aged, no class on a Friday (or at all) pro-cause, cheerleader types, we must admit we got a little sick.

Not that the event didn’t have the crazy, bigoted, otherworldly feeling that we’d anticipated, they still had the signs! Really, it was the signs that made the scene. “God Hates Fags”, of course — a classic. But also “God Hates Jews”, “Obama is the Anti-Christ”, and our new personal favorite, “Bitch Burger!”.

Can you handle it?! Bitch Burger! We love it! Can we get t-shirts made of these? Maybe modify a little — “Chris Harris is the Anti-Christ!”.

If anything good came out of this, it’s that we all got exposed to a little shock culture that usually will bypass our little state, which is so far to the left that it’s almost boring.

Which Gallery bartender recently got busted on-site for selling drugs? We’ll put money on Thibault calling the cops himself to make an example!

Cold!

So we’ve been getting texts and Bitch Button emails allllll day today about the Westboro Baptist Church “protest” at the State House tomorrow at 4pm and elsewhere around Rhode Island, and the accompanying counter-protest that’s been planned in response to “the hate”.

We posted some feeling about this a few weeks ago, and the resulting discussion in the comment strings was mixed. Some people wanted to protest the protestors, others agreed with us and just wanted to drown the WBC out, and others wanted to simply ignore them and let them pass through unfettered. We will say again, that the worst and most shameful thing we can do is ignore them. But we don’t agree with counter-protesting either — why respond to negativity with more negativity? Besides, who are these people to try and make us mad or upset about anything?

This is why we proposed on-site State House Dance Party. A spectacle rooted firmly in fun and pride to balance off the hate, to be more interesting to look at and listen to — thereby leaving the WBC’s purpose in Rhode Island entirely unfulfilled.

No matter what you do tomorrow, be louder and more fabulous than them, and keep it non-violent — there’s likely to be a lot of people down there.

Oh, and wear purple. Although we think that it’ll be clear who’s on which side.

So after the weirdness that was Saturday night, we had just about had it with partying and fun (not really).

Our first stop Sunday night was Paint It Pink’s XANADON’T party at Dark Lady. Honestly, it didn’t disappoint! Although it was a weird mix of that straight PIP crowd and older (much older) gays, and a bunch of girls (who should NOT be wearing tights) dressed like Cyndi Lauper bouncing around — it was sparkly and pink, which is always good. We told Noah ourselves that if this was the future, that it was a fabulous, dancy-disco future, indeed. Then out comes Jackie Collins to sing Last Dance, and everyone goes absolutely nuts. We caught up with Jackie after her performance, who was lovely as usual — only to find out that girlfriend is a Bitchidence.com reader, which is weird because we were convinced that only like ten people read this shit. Before we left though, we caught Buck from Dark Lady about to leave and head down to Therapy with a tranny porn DVD that Chris Harris had requested (yes, specifically tranny porn) to be played on the screens throughout the night. What? Why? We told Buck that he probably had misunderstood Harris’s text since Buck’s asian-import iPhone had a habit of texting chinese characters back and forth instead of normal english (that’s another completely weird story).

So then around 1a we hit up State to see the bar boys and DJ AV8, which unfortunately was the forgotten bastard-child event of the night. This did not surprise us — but you bitches will be glad it’s there come this Sunday when you don’t have Military Ball and Xanadon’t to keep you out at all hours of the night. But we hung out there regardless and helped the boys close up the bar — and rolled up to Therapy around 2a with the place’s owner, Alex Tomasso, who gave the entire door staff a coronary when he waved about six of us through the door without tickets or being on lists or anything. Bitch, we can’t imagine getting into Therapy any other way!

If you know us, you’ll know that our first stop upon arrival was the bar upstairs. Although we were afraid of being a little late since it was already after 2a, so we sleazed around only to find Kitty Litter and her entourage crowding around a cluster of liquor bottles and an ice bucket stationed uneasily on a table in the middle of those black couches in the back. Bitch poured us a strong one and we were off — only to find out that they kept the bar open way late, which we then took advantage of regardless of already having a drink in-hand. You know???

This was the biggest Military Ball turn-out we’d ever seen, everyone seemed to make it down there (although Sarah Beyers and Parrys Hampton were suspiciously absent) despite a prior week of bitching about it being so far or not knowing where to go. Nobody seemed to have any trouble come Sunday.

So Jenna St. James is chilling in the girl’s bathroom doing her business when the stall next to her starts to shake and thump, growing louder and louder like someone’s in there fucking or something. Then suddenly the stall door flies open, and some naked kid shoots ass-backward out of the stall and falls on the floor — it gets better — then some bigger, older, fully dressed man steps out of the stall, steps over the poor, used kid, looks back down at him, and walks out of the fucking bathroom without saying a word! We totally expect this behavior at Therapy, but you can’t help but ask — who are these fucking people!?

Last year we were allowed full access to the DJ booth to mix drinks and whatnot, but this year everyone was denied access, which of course didn’t stop us. You bitches didn’t miss anything though, it was just Johnny Vicious and a bunch of Ultra hoes, although we did watch Nina Flowers’ performance from up there, which was fabulous, if a little spastic (we thought she was going to fall right off that damn stage). We didn’t get a chance to talk with Nina afterwards, but we heard from several people that she’s an absolute doll to speak with — which is nice to hear because she looks like she’d be a huge bitch.

We didn’t make it into the back of any of those hallways, in fact we were barely downstairs at all, except for that outside smoking area — which was completely hysterical to go hang out in. We walked out there, and spied Buck from Dark Lady again in the back talking with local scumbag Tim French. So Kitty Litter walks up behind us and we ask her exactly what Buck is doing talking to Tim French. We shit not, Kitty says “I don’t know but I’m going to stop it!” — and bitch goes over and drags poor Bucky away by the hand. Denied!

Obviously, a good/weird time was had by all. We don’t know what time we left, but it was light out and the sun was shining in when you opened the doors. That’s always an…. unpleasant feeling. Thank you, Chris Harris? Jenna St. James said it best to us, “exactly who do we have to blame for this???”. You know???

We love it! And can’t wait for Deborah Cox at Lupo’s in a few weeks!

So Friday night we do Dark Lady, Mirabar and Alley Cat — all pretty standard for a Friday, although DJ Richard Michael had already started his 3-night set and was already at work abusing the sound system. We caught Sabrina Blaze‘s show at Dark Lady, who was all dressed up straight from a bachelor party and explained that she had been hired as a joke — but didn’t care because she made $150 in ten minutes. We then asked where we could find said bachelor parties.

Saturday night was Honorable Discharge, the pre-Military Ball block party at Dark Lady — which started out innocently enough… This was the first event of the summer where you saw tons of people that you’d either hadn’t seen since last summer, or you’d never seen at all — which puzzles us. Anyway, in case you didn’t see him, DJ AV8 was outside up against the side of the fucking building — yeah, we looked for him too. The girls performing had to raise and lower CDs and beers up to him in a bucket on a string. We also ran into Jack, of JDHSphotos.com, who’s work we complimented before he asked bluntly who the fuck we were and when we planned on paying for the photos we sometimes use on Bitchidence.com. What a douche, right? We know things aren’t free and that people have to make a living somehow, but it’s not like we’re making big bucks writing Bitchidence.com, so it’s basically like us using his images on our Facebook, which everyone does anyway without thinking about it.

Anyhow, halfway through the night we ran over to Mirabar to see how All DJ Richard Michael All Weekend was going, and we found the place just about half full! Well, for a Saturday anyway. We just couldn’t believe that everyone had opted to hit up Dark Lady on a Saturday night instead. Could it have been the booming sound and live entertainment echoing across the street, or the cover charge going to benefit AIDS Care Ocean State? Or maybe it was inside DJ Tony Richards who (as much as it just kills us to say this) absolutely did not suck. In fact, he was good! So good that we advised him that night never to be seen promoting a night or heard talking about anything, ever again. And instead, just DJ.

We think he’ll do it!

Anyway, that night we were joined by Bomb Dome (of course) for after hours, and before we knew it, we had been talked into going to Sport’s Tap again at 6am. Inexplicably (and luckily) it was not open. And on our way back home, we started being followed very closely by this unmarked black Taurus, which we immediately thought was trying to pull us over. Well, it wasn’t a police vehicle, but they were trying to pull us over! And once they did, some crack-headed bitch and her latino son, mistaking us for their drug dealers, began shouting at us and asking if we were “the big man”. These people obviously did not know who they were looking for, but we were all pretty sure that it wasn’t us.

This is probably not true, but somebody working at Gallery has been saying that the joint is up and moving as of September 1st. Great, we hope it moves to Maine, where crotchety old men and crotchety young lesbians are part of the local heritage!

UPDATE: Apparently, there’s truth to this — the old man bought the damn Living Room! We have no idea how he thinks he’s going to pull this one off, has he got enough fight left in him to tackle that area? In case you didn’t know, the Living Room is a little place that sits back to back with Club X, and we all know how that shit went down…

Does the Living Room even have a bar?