Click here for an adorable piece by Edge Providence on Sabrina Blaze and her summer series at Theatre by the Sea.

Finally it’s summer!

So last Saturday night at Dark Lady was actually totally busy — it was the beginning of Ada’s birthday celebration, after all. Dark Lady staff had even whipped up a cake from Stop n’ Shop to present to her at some point during the evening — fun right? Well one thing leads to another and we’re all at Mirabar. Then Union. Then back to Dark Lady again. Then Ada and Elle escorted us over to an afterhours party — coincidentally, the very same party that a certain someone had been asked to leave six hours prior.

Running out of time in the night around 4am, but still kind of drunk (and being in the general area), we decided with Ada and Elle to check out DJ Boris over at Therapy. Door cover for the night was $40, which we weren’t sure we were going to have to pay or not, but (and this is a life lesson here) with crazy trannies flanking you, there aren’t too many checkpoints you can’t breeze past for free. So next time you feel like waltzing into the White House without breaking a stride, make sure you have a hot tranny on either arm and you’re golden.

Not to say that our effortless penetration into Therapy wasn’t without a little scuffling. Before we were allowed to pass, weasely Therapy promoter Brian Gaudagnocaught us at the door and ordered us to pay up… A little background before we go any further — Brian promoted parties at Therapy months ago back before it really took off under Jeff LeClair, and completely embodies the old-style douchbag mentality of unapologetic exclusivity — to the point of killing business.

Last March, Brian promoted a party at Therapy featuring Richie Santana and Peter Bailey, appropriately advertising a $40 cover. Well nobody knew it at the time, but the two DJ’s were unable to attend the night and Gaudagno (who was handling the DJ booking to begin with) chose to charge everyone for the advertised night anyway — even though it was likely one of the resident DJ’s up there spinning all night. It’s not like you can recognize anyone way up in that DJ booth, so who’d know anyway? Not hot!

Anyway, Saturday night Gaudagno “rented” out Therapy for the night, paying a certain amount for the right to collect a certain percentage at the end of the night — not really unusual. Now we all know that every night, there are many different lists for many different promoters with many people on each of them — a practice that encourages attendance and leads to the legendary Saturday’s we’ve been enjoying all spring. Well Saturday night, Brian chooses to void all lists at 3am (except his own, of course) without telling anyone and proceeds to charge everyone and their mothers with an urgent look on his face — presumably he felt he wasn’t making enough cash at the door. Or maybe he was trying to make up for a sticky-fingered staff since he flat-out accused our State darling, DJ Marcus Christian, of stealing out of the register! What douchery!

Anyway, so we bust into Therapy, trannies in tow and this guy jumps in front of us with his clipboard and mutters something inaudible, to which we all replied (all trashed) “oh hell no!, who are you?” That’s when Therapy door-angel, Brandy (also Marcus’s girlfriend, who by this time in the night had also had enough) swoops in and blasts poor Brian Gaudagno for stopping us in our tracks! Then shoo’s us past the register and into the club. Legendary! The night just heated up from there though — between photoshoots with Ada in the bathroom she sat on the toilet (no, you may not see the pics) and Elle seducing straight men on the couches — plus Boris was absolute fire! And did we mention the place was still slammed at 6am?

Well that’s around the time someone pulled the fire alarm and the scene erupted into the muddy overcast dawn with firetrucks and shit everywhere.

– The number of people who dropped in to Energy on Saturday night.

What the hell are they doing down there????? Or maybe people just don’t want to be involved in their own real-life version of Enough.

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Wow, are we surprised! We only spent like, four days putting together our New York Pride party for State last night, and apparently a little bit of effort can go a long way — since you bitches packed the place (well, for State it was packed). And on a Sunday night on a weekend where nobody’s supposed to be doing anything anyway — we couldn’t have been more pleased. We have of course Ada Adore and DJ Marcus Christian to thank the most for providing entertainment and music for the night, as well as Carl and Jay (look right or left on your screen) behind the bar for getting your asses liquored up.

Ada, after sending us on a bar-wide search for tape (“any kind of tape!”) performed in a candy-necklace thong (with matching pasties) using the bar top as a stage, giving State her own classy Ada treatment. Meanwhile in the background, video of the parade in NYC from earlier in the day played on that flat screen.

Now we just have to figure out how to push it a little further for next week! Suggestions? We’ll take ‘em!

What a weird fucking weekend. Funny and weird. Stranger than Providence Pride weekend, even.

And why? Just some really fabulous stories, of course! Saturday night, a friend invited us to his neighbor’s place for an evening gathering, leading up to our typical night out. As is our way, we took too long to get ready and was unable to attend, later leaving us full of regret over what we missed. One of the party-goers, let’s call him “Mr. Gay RI 2004″, was in attendance and by 8pm was completely inebriated — referring loudly to each woman at the party as “cunts” (we of course women just love). Not a total shocker, we can believe all of that. But then someone shows up with their sick, old dog that was apparently on its last legs and swimming with disease — and “Mr. Gay RI” remarks,

“What the fuck is wrong with that dog? That thing is malnourished and needs to be taken away from it’s owner, that guy doesn’t feed that fucking dog!”

Hysterical! And as if that wasn’t enough, a heavy-set woman in attendance was caught by “Mr. Gay RI” spending a little too much time at the buffet table and shouts, “Put down those fucking ribs, you fat bitch, you do not need to be going back for seconds!” (that one’s eligible for Quote of the Week)

Unbelievable! And totally priceless… and then he was asked to leave. Despite the ridiculous nature of this story, we actually like him more because of it! What showmanship! Anyway, it would be unfair to say that this guy is a flat-out booze bag — he’s also done tireless and commendable work in the community which should not go unrecognized.

And it hasn’t!

Our “Mr. Gay RI 2004″ was presented recently with a citation from the city (not a police citation) for his work in the community, call it more of a “key to the city” kind of thing, and kind of a big deal! Well this “citation” comes in the form of a physical plaque to be displayed in his home or stored safely somewhere. By the way, we’ll never be receiving one of these. Now the details are a little fuzzy on just how it happened, but he lost the damn thing! What the fuck!

Now this is where the Unsubstantiated Rumors part comes it, as it is also the ending/kicker to this story. This plaque is said to be stored currently (and unbeknownst to it’s rightful owner) by the leader of a successful local gay pride organization. What, like hostage style? How strange!

We love you, Providence, and your crazy citizens!

Our weekend write up (it’s weirder and funnier than usual) can wait!

If you ditched New York City this weekend to stay and play in Providence (like us), spend that extra gas money with us down at State tonight! There’s no cover, so you’re guaranteed to spend it all on booze — or stuff it into whatever hole Ada has for you to stick it in when she performs. We’ve asked her for some idea of what exactly she’s going to do, but she refuses to give up the deets — so we’re going to be just as shocked as the rest of you. We’ve seen her wear dollar bills, we’ve seen her hot-glue coins to her naked body, maybe tonight she’ll make her pasties out of a sliced up apple… the suspense tickles us!

In addition to that, we also have the fabulousness that is DJ Marcus Christian. We saw him this morning last night at Therapy and he’s super-excited to be down at State tonight to abuse the sound system for the first time. We’re also planning on a televised review of this weekend’s events in NYC to appear on that flat screen (someone’s got to stop that fish tank loop for at least one night).

Anyway, if you’re not down there tonight, then we’ll assume you’re in New York, and we expect a full report when you get back, you fucks.

Go down to the Dark Lady tonight for the beginning of Ada’s birthday celebration! How old is she? Who the hell cares? She’s likely to do something crazy! The second edition of the tranny’s birthday takes place tomorrow night with us at State for Empire State with DJ Marcus Christian. You love it!

Did anyone see the nuclear fight that went down at Mirabar last night? Of course you did! How could anyone miss it? It spanned half the night and encompassed two floors inside and the street — complete with blood spatters, naturally.

Before that, there was anti-climactic drama down at Alleycat as some homeless man tried to make a bed out of the front alcove (AGAIN) and was taken away by paramedics. Apparently Tent City down under the 195 overpass is experiencing some urban sprawl of its own.

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Check it, bitches!

For a limited time only, we’re giving you a little audio bar at the bottom of your Bitchidence page where you can get a streaming preview of DJ Marcus Christian’s set for Empire State this Sunday at State!

As if you didn’t have enough to do when you visit this blog…

Well, it happened!

Bitchidence.com and Paint It Pink came together in a totally fun way to put on (and pull off) the most off-beat Providence Pride party attended last weekend. We will address first how we said that this would be the last party seen at the Dark Lady before their move into an absolutely epic space (we’ve seen it) next to the Alleycat. While that may have been what we understood to be true at the time, it’s obviously not now (Noah had a band performance the following night for christ’s sake). So let’s just call it the last circus-themed party that the Dark Lady will ever see — since we think you’ve all probably had quite enough of that.

Anyway, it would be our luck that although the weather threatened us all weekend with rain, it didn’t actually prove itself until our party on Sunday. Luckily though, through some scheduling conflict with the guys who operated the big tent that Dark Lady didn’t need on Saturday night, we were able to use it on Sunday night at no cost to us! Fabulous!

Once people started showing up though, everything fell into place. Morgan Louis from Lovelife and Pop! Thursday nights at Energy a couple years ago did an amazing job (we can’t appreciate him enough) spinning fun and funky tracks outside in the tent, echoing down Snow Street all night. Since it was a block party and physically outside though, it was understood that there wouldn’t be any profanity in the music played in the tent — that was until Morgan (probably inadvertently) played a song that repeated the f-bomb, like, in it’s refrain, shooting “FUCK!” sailing down Snow St. and off into the night! Now we thought this was just hilarious and didn’t think much of it, but Dark Lady’s Buck went wild over it, which may have been even funnier.

Anyway, the ladies of the night, Ada and The Davenport were legendary as always, earning some half-jaw drops from the straight crowd who weren’t used to the dynamic duo’s antics (and there weren’t very many of them). Unfortunately we had to cut out one number each from both of them since our performance schedule was absolutely jam-packed between Mahi Mahi, Llove, Morgan Louis and the girls. Which brings us to the bands, whom we hand-picked with Noah from Paint It Pink to be dancable, fun and off-beat, and something new for the gays. And everyone went for it!

We got the straight crowd, the gay crowd and even some notables. Big Scotty felt the need to show up (knowing full well we were responsible for the night) which we politely thanked him for — we were selling food, after all. Energy’s owner, Tommy showed up with his liability-of-the-month, along with one Chris Harris and Richie D. We couldn’t have been happier with the turn-out considering it was raining by this point.

Then we stopped drinking liquor and got drunk off of a couple Narragansetts — since they did help sponsor the event.

Let’s put it out there now, that as much fun as New York Pride would be to go to this weekend, we feel put through the wringer right now and would probably have a panic attack if we were faced with planning a weekend trip to the Big Apple right now.

So we’re just going to have to have fun doing the next best thing! Have our own New York Pride right here in Providence! And what more cosmopolitan locale have we got in town than State Ultra Lounge? Plus we advertise for them… So this Sunday we’re bringing you a seriously sexy dance party DJ’d by Therapy resident Marcus Christian (whom we adore) and headlined by our blog-sister and super-tranny, Ada Adore. The night being her birthday, this performance is guaranteed to be especially freaky and will make you feel funny things inside that you cannot immediately understand. If you wish to bring her a birthday present, you may consult her Amazon.com Wish List! Totally not joking! We hope somebody brings the bitch the flat-screen TV!

Anyway, it’s goes without saying that we don’t need the Big Apple to have fun, otherwise we’d all just up and move — but we don’t because we love it here because Providence eats apples for breakfast, bitch!