Do you know what tonight is?

Remember THIS????

Well frankly, neither do we — but we were there, and if you weren’t then tonight’s your lucky night (if you like trannies on bars, which we presume you do). While we can’t guarantee that you can catch a crack-head rummaging through Vienna Marriott’s purse for drugs again (we won’t rule it out, either), you can get your fill of trannies feeding bar-goers like baby birdies from the bar, and even take your chances at some inner-ear damage!

Sound fun? You bet your ass it does!

Trannies on bar come complete with DenimVenom, Church of the Snake, & Ninja Academy!

Sounds life-threatening!

This is all at Wheels, by the way.

So what did we learn from last Sunday at State? Cheap beer works!

Since we first started up with State and continuing through to today, one of the biggest obstacles keeping the gays from spending all of Sunday night there (like they should), is the drink prices. Because what the hell else are we expected to do at a bar, buying a drink (or having one bought for you) is pretty much a requirement. That being the case, who would want to spend almost twice as much on a drink in one place versus another solely based on the bar’s atmosphere? Not us!

So after switching around guest DJs to keep things interesting and offering up “theme” nights (“summertime” isn’t exactly a theme, though), we still definitely wanted this to work, and it seems everyone else did too — it was at last time to tackle the bar itself. Open bar (“comped beverages” he he) was a success, obviously, so in the spirit of a frat party (you know, to make people think “free-flowing booze”), we brought in a keg and handed beers out for $2. Fantastic. A little against the loungy feel that attracted us to State to begin with, but still fantastic.

Why was it fantastic? Well, clearly because this last Sunday it was busy! — not to mention Tommy Stylez was fabulous (and the dollar shots weren’t bad either) All night we heard mixes of songs we love that we never knew existed. The trannies showed up, then left and went to Mirabar… and came back. (success, bitches)

New goals for State? Lighting, lighting, lighting. Sure it’s a lounge, but that doesn’t mean the place has to look like a (sexy) living room. Drink specials — and some damn interesting ones too. New bottle release parties, charity events, more trannies (WAY more trannies) and some tasty collab parties that you might not expect. In fact, it’s really best if you are surprised.

Okay, how to explain this…

We had an unnecessarily fun weekend! Friday started at Finnegan’s (of all places), which was at capacity by 12am with about fifty people outside trying to get in. It would later get stormed by police on the assumption that underage club-goers were in the possession of liquor (shocker). We’re fairly certain that something like that would not have happened if it wasn’t so busy, which leads us to believe that nobody’s allowed to have too much fun in this city without the other bars getting jealous. Next we hit Dark Lady, which was bouncing along well — except for hearing that damn Single Ladies remix for like the tenth time this week (isn’t it like, a year old??). No matter, we also visited Mirabar and our darling DJ Kenny — and even put in our name (we wrote in “Bitchidence.com”) to win one of three vintage Madonna lithographs Mirabar was sent earlier in the week. We were not among the winners.

Anyway, Saturday started back at Dark Lady with friendz and everybody talking about going to Therapy later in the night. The Imperial Court event had apparently gone down as planned and all of the Gay Rhode Island people were out in their sashes, sashaying. Mirabar was acceptable.

Then, as planned, we initiated a mass-exodus to Therapy and our switchboard lit up with everyone asking us for protocol tips and how to get in to the biggest party in the city. The line was said to have had fifty people in it at 2:30a. Fortunately we didn’t show up until 3. Because of the busy night, a VIP area was opened with another private VIP added — we had no trouble penetrating all of them (obviously), and found the trannies already inside. They have no trouble with most things penetration-related. Calderone sounded fabulous, opened by Wil Trahan — so with the legendary DJ (on a world-class sound system), feeling pretty buzzy with our favorite trannies and some new friends, what do we do with our time? A science project, duh!

Therapy was covered in these large, round balloons that were huge and had a lot of vertical pull, which made us curious. So we found a half-full water bottle and tied the balloon to it’s mouth, and continued to drink from it until it reached a steady equilibrium with the surrounding atmosphere and hung in the air. We all thought that this was just neat. So we sent it on its way, the bottle traveled around the dance floor for a minute before settling about five feet right over Victor Calderone’s head, where it just sat for the rest of the night, peacefully. Hopefully our balloon’s story didn’t end badly, as it could have really been messy. Somehow time passes quickly there, and before we knew it, the sun was up. So we caught a cab with the trannies and crawled into bed. Next week Therpay hosts Danny Woo, another DJ/producer.

Magical!

Did you hang out in the VIP section of an after-hours club partying to Victor Calderone and acting crazy with trannies until seven in the morning?

Then you have no excuse!

Get your asses to State tonight for something that’s going to amount to a thinly-veiled keg party. Cheap drinks, no cover, so if you spent all your cheese last night getting into Therapy, you can make up for some lost drinking tonight.

We’re still a little hung-over and it’s not even a question.

Before we even try to remember the details of last night’s weirdness — you must not forget that in addition to the Imperial Court funnyness at the Biltmore tonight, your late night is reserved for Victor Calderone at Therapy! We first saw Vic at Crobar Miami in 2004 before it was Cameo, and several times since — he never disappoints to draw a crowd, so tonight’s likely going to be another late one. You know, bathroom photoshoots, strange bracelets that do different things, dark rooms, loud music — we’re there!

You may now know it, but today is Sabrina Blaze’s birthday! We don’t know how old she is, but if you told us she was 40, we’d have a tough time believing it on account of those fierce legs!

Can you handle it?

Anyhow, catch her weekly show tonight down at the Dawk Lady — there’s sure to be some interestingness to be seen.

Also tonight is the official opening of a Friday night at Aspire with DJ’s Vibe and Lord Fresh — it’s not gay but it’s a gorgeous location on Westminster Street that’s never really gotten its due. Plus you know how we loves us some different shit.

Another day, another Trannymania!

We walk into the Dark Lady last night to the girls dancing on the bar, as promised, and promptly got a drink from Ron. Looking around the bar, though, it became obvious that there weren’t that many trannies hanging around (although the tranny-chasers were out in full force) — it was all cross-dressers! Somehow “Cross-dressermania” doesn’t have the same ring to it. No matter, though, there were shows, dancing, bar dancing, wigs flying everywhere, everything we’ve come to expect from our darling Trannymania Wednesdays. Speaking of wigs, we got into a conversation with Ada about Suzie’s wig and how none of us have ever seen her in a different one. So she like, wears the same one all the time, for all activities inside and outside of the Dark Lady, which makes us shiver a little. We wondered to one another whether she just brushed the dried cum out of it in the morning, or just throws it in the washer like a reusable Swiffer pad — the logistics beg for answers, and could be easily put to rest with a new fucking piece.

Anyhow, after some more bar dancing, we worked it with Ada over to Mirabar to check out the Retrizzle. It was unimpressive. By that, we mean that you could easily move around the bar without squeezing through the huddled, sweaty masses — and where’s the fun in that? That was when Ada suggested that we all head down to Hell for their slutty “Schoolgirl” night, which we’d hearing about all week. We weren’t dressed in all black, though, which is standard Hell Wednesday night dress code — Ada was not about to let that stop her, and ushered her entire entourage in undeterred. We lagged behind, though, and had some trouble at the door with the bouncers (which we’re not used to) since we didn’t walk in alongside Ada herself. However, with a little sweet, buddy-buddy talk (the bouncers turned out to be marshmallows), we worked our way in and quickly located LaDiva dressed as a nun to serve us a drink! Fabulous! The music was hard, fun, and totally dancy — we completely ate up the vibe, just happy to be somewhere different. Then, like a vengeful god, we hear the booming voice of none other than Kitty Litter, performing her typical MC schtick, that’s when it sunk in that we really were in Hell — and she was dressed like a nun. So we went and said hi, you know, to be polite.

Then at 12:50a they turned off the music and brought up the lights, and we knew that we had a very short time to make it to Alleycat for last call — thanks to Lee for making that possible.

Well you can go on Cam4 for that, but do you want to see her basically naked in person, without going to the ATM? Of course you do, and you can. And you will. At Trannymania tonight!

Providence’s hottest, most out-there-left-field new night is on Snow Street tonight at the Dark Lady. As we all know, it started out so so small, but has grown into an unpredictable craziness that gives Retro night at Mirabar a good fight.

We’ll be there!

And how!

Thanks to Hali for sending this to us from NYC.

CLICK HERE for a very professional-sounding article published this week about Energy and it’s rather dismal-looking situation. It seems that one Paul Caprio is the whistle-blower here (in addition to being a hair stylist and Cicilline buddy), claiming that a professional assessment of noise levels in his 2nd floor apartment were twice as what’s necessary to harm human hearing. We call bullshit on this one unless the guy’s like, a small child, or maybe some 80-year-old with his hearing aid turned up too loud (besides, how easy could it be to really fake something like that or have an assessment bought). Either way, buddy, you bought the damn place with a club downstairs — so we’re willing to bet that it was having strippers walking in and out that was the last straw here. Regardless, the Projo article goes on to say that Paul “suffered hearing loss and impairment of his mental health and had been forced to flee his condo.” (sounds like us when we go to Energy too!)

Can you imagine explaining all that shit to someone? His lawyer must think he’s a total drama queen!

Paul even brought those slutty posters that 2Xcess put up for the Board of Licenses to see, calling them “sexually suggestive”. He can’t seriously have us believe that he’s never seen the posters Chris Harris used to put up downstairs in Roxy and Diesel — we clearly remember seeing two men dressed as dogs humping on a poster once! (or something to that effect) Anyway, of course they’re suggestive! It’s a fucking go-go club for christ’s sake — which why we think it’s the strippy part, not the noise — which isn’t really something they can suspend their license for.

Luckily, however, THIS ARTICLE was published by Projo almost four weeks ago about how the chick who started running the Martini Lounge on Clemence Street (a space that we’ve posted endlessly about) somehow fucked it up and the licensing board chose not to give her the liquor license she needed in order to actually own the bar in the first place. This means Tommy still has it — so maybe we can expect something fantastic to happen and Paul Caprio can set his sights on Roxy next (somehow we don’t think that will happen, plus we know Mr. Lupo would be having none of that).

Thoughts?

UPDATE: You may also CLICK HERE for a very clever Daily Dose post on this issue, featuring Miguel looking coy in the post photo!

P.S. — Daily Dose might want to check to make sure Fat Scott (who must be laughing his cheesy poofs up over all of this) doesn’t own that photo — he’ll shut your asses right down!