Okay, we’re going to start at last night and work backwards — because it’s easier for us to remember, of course!

Sunday night we had our Nasty Boyz party at State. What the hell was Nasty Boyz? Who cares? It was our mini-themed response to the Miss Alternative pageant that took place at Hell last night. We were approached by Sarah Beyers and Hell owner Stefano last Sunday to work out a cross-promotion between the pageant and our Sunday nights at State. We’d worked with Sarah on similar projects in the past and they always worked well, so this seemed like a good idea since the pageant started early in the evening and State doesn’t pick up until later. The trouble came when they decided to change the time of the pageant to 11:30p, totally fucking the reason for our “theme”, and making nothing Nasty about the night at State!

That was until Chris Harris sends us a text message asking if State had a wireless mic — because he was out barhopping with Anthony Lamont, and wanted to bring him by. Our Nasty Boyz theme became a reality after all! In case you’re unaware, Anthony Lamont is a world-famous drag queen/entertainer/performer, travels the world with DJs, MCing parties, and is the only performer (other than Amanda Lepore) that we’ve seen get totally naked on stage at Diesel/Roxy.

So by 12:30a, our Sunday night at State was jumping — and our DJ Tommy Stylez and Anthony Lamont were working the sound system over. Fantastic.

Before they left the bar at the end of the night, Anthony asked that we give a special “hey, girl!” to Bomb Dome, who rode in the limo with Anthony and Harris from House of Blues to Therapy on Saturday night — making an impression on him with her penchant for poppers. We die!

For an official recap on the first Miss Alternative Pageant from an official tranny, CLICK HERE. p.s — we wanna meet this Jessica bitch!

Anyhow, we were all at Therapy Saturday night, for one of those messy nights that nobody can seem to remember all of. Now it’s not unusual for us not to remember getting home from Therapy, but in this case, we can’t remember arriving at Therapy. Danger! Well, not all true, we do remember some of it — there might have even been some dancing involved. Earlier in the night we were hanging out at Colosseum, which turns 21+ upstairs at Mythology this week (thank jebus). We never stay at Mythology all night though, so we hopped on over to Dark Lady, where Buck and Rande had decided to put Ada to work (after she spooked them by talking about working over at Colosseum Wednesday nights). Well, they put her to work all right — as a shot girl! While we found this hilarious, Ada was none too pleased and had told the Dark Lady to shove it by 1am. Good girl!

On account of a prior engagement of Sabrina Blaze’s on Friday nights, Ada has also been given the reigns at Dark Lady to turn that wreck right around! We think she’ll be doing more than serving shots…

Tomorrow we’re back on it! And by that, we mean off the bottle.

We’ve been so busy setting up Colosseum, running around for State and having so much fun keeping a steady buzz that we’ve been neglecting the most fun activity we engage in regularly — writing to you on Bitchidence!

So tomorrow, after Nasty Boyz at State tonight with Tommy Stylez, we’re going to provide you with the rundown of the last week. It’ll be good. Goooood….

Sorry bitches, we’re still alive. But busy! Busy and boozed up. Sometimes together. Sometimes separately.

Either way, it’s been way too long since we’ve posted anything substantial, and while putting together a full post right now might be a challenge, here are some notes and bits that have been entertaining us, that we’d like to share.

- Mythology @ Colosseum is slowly turning into a favorite drag queen/tranny party. We spotted the only drag queen couple we know in Providence standing by the dance floor, caressing each other, looking like impossibly hot lesbians to the big black guys standing by licking their lips.

- State on Sunday for the Sunglasses at Night party. Who knew anyone would actually do it? You totally did it! It gives us hope for future, more interesting parties where we make you do weird shit (strap-on party, anyone?). Now we admit that the sunglasses thing might have been a bit stupid, but there was a song that went along with it, and who says party themes have to be serious, or have a cause attached to them, or even some redeeming moral value? Not us!

- The raver/light/candy people who rented out Therapy last Friday night for a private party (which never seems to stop us), complete with a blow-up couch that lit up from the inside, a 8-foot round fluorescent orange table on a swivel base, giant wall-mounted light panels, and an instant photo booth. Well, we asked for it.

- One nightclub fighter now has a warrant out for his arrest. Now while something like a warrant might sound rather serious to people us, we have no doubt that there’s still some wiggle room left in Rhode Island for nothing (else) serious to occur.

Well it’s been a fun week. But that’s going to be nothing compared to this week, what with constant Colosseum parties, and legendary retro and Trannymania nights coming up tomorrow. Can you handle it?

“I am the queen of this place!”

– Greg from the door of Diesel in a big, black booming voice as he threw some unruly patron out

So last night we took one of our favorite trannies, Nissa, to see the Rent‘s opening night over at PPAC. We’ve never seen the show before, nor have we ever seen the movie, or really knew anything about Rent outside the three songs that got remixed and played in the clubs after the film version was released. We’re also not theatre people (shocking, right?), so a Broadway musical is rather foreign territory.

Well it was enjoyable, if just for the singing and dancing — but goddamn is the story depressing! That, and it details such a rundown, unpleasant time to be in New York when apparently everyone had AIDS. Now we know the story is supposed to be bleak and everything, but you could also tell that the story was trying to push limits of what that audience should think the two white, blond, male, main characters should be willing to accept. Like, “what are these sensitive guys doing with these junkies and non-white people?”. Oh, and some not-so-subtle references to one of the characters feeling sick and being sweaty — we’re immediately like, “so the bitch is a junkie, right?”. We’re sure that Rent was pretty out-there and controversial when it was first produced, but for today’s standards in Providence, we’re like “yeah, we’ve got all that, but where are the real trannies?” We just figure, if you just grow up and pay your rent, you won’t have money to buy drugs and die — but where’s the fun in that, right?

That being said, the show was fun. But the audience was funnier. We saw a few people we knew milling around during intermission, but it wasn’t until we got back to our seats for the second act that we spotted Fat Scott a few rows down sitting in an isle seat. Now we didn’t think much of that at first, but really, what are the chances that someone that ridiculously obese just happened to snag an isle seat — you know the bitch had to request one so that he didn’t have to squeeze through a dozen seats and wipe the make-up off an entire row of women with his ass.

Anyway, tonight is the first official gay, or “alternative lifestyle” party up in Mythology at the new Colosseum. Of course, we will totally be there since everyone knows that they gays love to exist only in beautiful, new spaces. That is their natural habitat. Our direction for the night is kind of post-retro music — the timeless Amber – Sexual, the Ace of Base – Beautiful Life, the Faithless – Insomnia, everything that’s too old for DJ Kenny to play on Fridays and too young for Cisco to play on Wednesdays. Music that many of you bitches have only had the misfortune of only hearing in your shiny pink JVC earbuds. One of our State DJs, J.J. Royal spins — so you know this will be totally fun. Now if you’re in the mood to get our a little earlier, check out Trannymania’s Greek theme at the Dark Lady — they’re having a sexy/slutty toga contest which even we won’t miss! Show starts at 11p then we’re off to the main event at Mythology.

See you bitches there.

“If you are gay and you know it KILL YOURSELF!!!!!”

– the class act that is Joey Barone/DJ Joey Codes

Where do they grow these people?

The day started at Downcity for brunch. It’s not quite breakfast and it’s not quite lunch, but it’s fabulous and it comes with a slice of cantaloupe. There’s always people we know down there so some ridiculous antics are typical and expected. Two bloody marys later we showed up at the Alleycat for a sangria with Michael Slade. Now we’ve commented in the past on how the renovations at Alleycat have been coming along — but the changes have never been so visible as when that big glass pane in the front of the bar went in. The place is looking fierce — congrats to Buck and Rande for pulling it together like that — it’s going to have street frontage like no other gay bar in Providence. Mirabar, the old Dark Lady, Eagle/Union and Wheels all have opaque, protective brick faces that seem to hide whatever it is we’re doing in those places. The Alleycat showcases us and invites people to see what’s going on, it’s fabulous. That is, until someone throws a brick through it and it becomes to expensive to replace. We’ll still enjoy it while it lasts though!

So after some socializing at Alleycat, we remembered that we had to buy Bernard a birthday cake for later that night. So off to Stop n’ Shop! Some broken-englished man reluctantly helped our drunken-in-the-daytime asses to write “Happy Birthday Bernard” on the cake. Unoriginal, yes, but it was either that, or “Here’s to 5 More Years, Drunkie”.

Anyway, we got to State later that evening around 10:30p, running a little late, showing up to find the place totally buzzing with people already. Great, right? But there was no fucking DJ, there was some silly euro-lounge CD playing — our DJ Marcus Christian had clearly spent too much time at Therapy the night before, didn’t get to bed and was now sleeping through his shift at State. Who does that? Now Marcus is a good friend and a good DJ, but shit like this is clearly not acceptable — how can we continue to use him? So we called in Tommy Stylez, who flew on over from across town to completely save the night — he was just sitting around about to go to bed anyway. Then Marcus showed up and we had to turn him away in the parking lot, lest Alex Tomasso bite off his head.

So the night totally packed, all night long. There was food, drinks and cake, and straight (?) JWU girls making out all over the place (not kidding) — it truly was a birthday party fitting of Bernard’s taste. Naturally though, something fucks it up and we end up dragging Gallery bartender Nick into the kitchen with a bloody face. Now we didn’t actually see what happened, but it was not a pretty sight. While it’s likely that there were some words had, the tiff eventually escalated into Nick on the ground being kicked in the face by two other guys. Seriously, who are these people that go around getting into fights with everyone? Since when is it okay to carry around such a penchant for violence? We can tolerate bitching, yelling and arguing, but the second people start putting their hands on each other, the whole situation degenerates and becomes completely intolerable. Nick spent the rest of the evening in the hospital and hit up the police station this morning to file a police report.

Get it together, bitches. Oh, and happy birthday Bernie.

So Friday night we set out downtown in search of the action. We did not find it.

What the hell do people do on Friday nights in this town anyway? So we bounce around, slowly getting drunkier and anticipating a meetup at le Colosseum with Sarah Beyers and Ada. We’ve been trying to get Sarah over to see the place since it opened, but couldn’t seem to get it together. So we made plans to meetup via text somewhere afterhours, which were sabotaged by everyone’s cell phone going dead at once. We didn’t find out until the next day, via everyone’s blog, that Ada and Sarah had showed up to Colosseum around 1:25a, but were denied entry by some reportedly bitchy bouncer. Our first thought on this was that the bouncer had taken it upon himself to deny the girls access based on how they looked or acted — since they weren’t actually given any reason why they couldn’t get in at 1:25 — it’s not like the place was at capacity. Upon further investigation, it came to our attention that the city of Providence forbids people from entering clubs and bars after 1a on 2a nights.

Wait, what? But we do it all the time — like, ALL THE TIME — and never get any hassles from anywhere. The trouble is though, that seem police enforce the law at will and won’t bother the silly gay bars across the street while keeping a close eye on Ultra, and now Colosseum right next door. So until the police figure out that Colosseum isn’t the ridiculous whore house that was the Complex, you’d better get your ass over there before 1a on Fridays and Saturdays. After repeating all of this to the girls, they admitted that the explanation did in fact fit the situation — although the gay owners over there have still pledged to make it up to them.

Anyway, Ada showed up at Mythology in her prostiboots Saturday night and we danced the rest of the night with Bomb Dome on that huge dance floor. Then Balloons for god knows what (you know how we love getting wanded at the door of an afterhours strip club that doesn’t even serve liquor), then Therapy for That Kid Chris and Scot Cox until like 6a. Fantastic.

We’re going to FAGGATRON @ the Dahk Lady!

In case you don’t remember, Faggatron is veteran club promoter Andy Morris’s monthly club offering to the Providence gay community promising fun, funky freedom of expression and sexuality for all. Nice concept, right? We think so! According to Morris, a “faggatron” is some pseudo-mythical robot creature that invades clubs and makes everyone gay — in a manner of speaking. Sounds harsh!

Well we’ll see — it’s replacing Dark Lady’s typical Thursday night hot body contest for the evening, giving DJ AV8 and Jenna St. James the night off.

Trannymania took place last night at the Shady Pussy with the t-girls putting on their perky (Sarah’s nipples), fashion-forward dance show, which never gets old, although towards the end it tends to downgrade itself into just a normal drag show.

After that we took a shortcut through the alley to Colosseum, Providence’s biggest, newest club opening in a very long time. Like we said before, the building that used to be the Complex has been gutted like a damn pumpkin, and completely rebuilt inside — a very hefty job. The results, as a lot of you bitches found out last night, is remarkable. The attention to detail and durability of the materials used to construct the place is unmatched, the entire staff is bangin’ (and nice, imagine that), and based on what happened last night, Wednesday nights might be for us! We’ll be back over there for a little bit tonight, although it’s some local frat take-over, which some of you might enjoy.

You may also stop by Recess Pub tonight to see the one and only Bomb Dome bartending. BARTENDING!

Okay bitches, want a good story? This one’s actually pretty funny and begins a couple years ago…

After having written Bitchidence.com for some time, it did eventually occur to us that doing event promotions would not be a complete stretch beyond our work with Bitchidence.com, in fact, it was a completely natural extension of it. So with absolutely no experience, other than having witnessed a series of amazing fails and triumphs within the Providence nightlife bubble over the previous several years, we hit the ground running — and at the very bottom of the barrel at the first opportunity that arose — Gallery.

Now today, doing an event at Gallery would be entirely out of the question, indeed, setting foot in the damn place is even a stretch — but at the time it was a new beginning. So that being the case, we knew we needed our friends for a little guidance, and we consulted one Chris Harris to throw us a friendly bone. And a bone he threw… a bone named DJ Joey Codes.

He was short and scrawny, but appeared to have a lot of energy. All of his online social media sites sucked and looked like a thirteen year old girl had put them together, but we weren’t after him for his html prowess, we needed a DJ! The night was to be a boys night/top 40 dance Thursday at Gallery, and after a few meetings with Bob Thibault and Joey about the specifics, something that seemed viable began to congeal. Things aren’t always meant to work out though, and after some differences with Bob Thibault, we got kicked off the project — although Joey Codes suspiciously stuck around to try and make our night work without us. We didn’t know at the time though that Bob and Joey had prior experience together, in fact, Bob had sent him to rehab for being a crack head in an attempt to clean him up and help the kid out, likely resulting in some lurid sexual arrangement, but that’s just our presumption. What we do know, however, is insanely juicier — Joey Codes, with his endless self-confidence managed to coax Bob Thibault into handing over his credit card so that Joey could fly a DJ to Providence from out west somewhere. And that might have been what happened, if Joey had a deal setup with DJ Texas Hold’em — the bitch also had an online gambling problem and went to town on Thibault’s credit card!

A night at the Days Inn with DJ Joey Codes? $200
Sending Joey Codes to rehab for six weeks? $3000
Letting Joey Codes go gambling online with your credit card without your knowledge? Priceless!

We promise, we’ll never repeat that cheesy Visa adage to you again, it was just fitting.

So why bring all this up now? Well Joey, like many other basement DJs and promoters have been circling the new Colosseum like a pack of wolves over the past few days, and shit is heating up fast as the nights fill up. Joey showed back up on our radar as Joey Barone (his real name, probably) claiming to be managing DJ Osheen, a friend who plays at State and Sona sometimes. Now we’d already placed Osheen in Mythology for this Friday, which should be totally hot — when Joey gets all on our asses about bad business and wanting all bookings to go through him. That’s all well and good, but Joey Barone never booked Osheen anywhere after two months of working together.

These people turn into straight-up shady bitches when there’s a fresh carcass in town to feed on!

And that’s the Joey Codes story. We’d like to thank Chris Harris for saving us from some embarrassing nights at Gallery several years ago by sending us a crackhead DJ. Seriously! It would have been a total mess.