So Wednesday nights over at Colosseum are working! Well, mostly working. But if anyone knows about the importance of patience and persistence in starting a new weekly, it’s us. Just look what happened to State, remember like, nobody there last summer?! Now of course, we have a blast on Sundays — and it’s only getting weirder — people stripping everywhere and kids are starting to literally hang from the rafters! We love it, but we didn’t think we were licensed for that!

Anyhow, this week at State we’re sending all you bitches to the Gingerbread Bathhaus. We were going to call it Gingerbread Whorehouse, but decided that it would be a little difficult putting “whore” on a flyer. So now we have to find a bunch of gingerbread men for all the JWU bitches to deface, sexualize, tongue, and act out tiny gingerbread men orgies with. Fantastic.

Last night we went to Colosseum for their college night, which seems to always be packed — and the kids always seem to have too good of a time… Then Recess with Bomb Dome where she bartends on Thursdays for shots, shots and shots. The Balloons, then the night just degenerated from there. Woke up this morning next to a mystery bottle of E&J. We really should start selling tickets to Bomb Dome.

Were you aware that there’s another gay Wednesday night in town? You weren’t? Well in the interest of full disclosure, we’ll admit that it does have something to do with us! Isn’t that great? No?

Well, we’ll admit that there is a lot of competition for your Wednesday night scratch. You could easily mosey over to the Dark Lady for the underdog that is Trannymania. Now to be clear, we love Trannymania, we go every week for the show and we’ve done everything we can to further its cause — including (but not limited to) pushing the night on this blog, and even giving Parrys and Sarah they’re own blogsite on which to host anything and everything Trannymania, because we want to see it succeed that much!

Then there’s retro night at Mirabar, which we’ve all been going to for years (YEARS!). And while retro night has a place in our hearts, it seems best left in the 2000s, you know? Because in less than a month, as far as referential decades go, retro night is about to become oldies night! So actually nothing will change…

That’s why we’re looking to the future! (and so should you) A future where your weekly nightlife circuit isn’t relegated to the gay bars, where it’s the gay that night rules, not the gay club. That’s why we’re pushing it over to Colosseum on Wednesday nights for the city’s first EVERYTHING-lifestyle night (well, in a long time anyway). It’s going to be a little rough through the holidays, but we’ll work it.

And so will you!

p.s. — The centaur figure in that poster is TOTALLY the hot guy from the Axe two-things TV commercial!

More porn stars show up in Providence! Yes! They’re among us!

And it’s not pretty! In the past, our beloved local porn stars have trudged through the murky waters of twink porn, piss porn, smoking porn, and now… old people porn! Just the place we weren’t looking for it to go — no offense to old people or anything, we just don’t want to see them fucking on film. Or anywhere else.

CLICK HERE for the latest out the gate — can YOU identify him? We sure can! Along with a ton of people who didn’t get paid to get into bed with him!

Did you have a wild weekend? Were you a mess? Did you wake up feeling the sting of regret? You did?

Well whatever it is that you think you did, we guarantee that it was nothing next to the craziness created by Miss Parrys Hampton! Whatever the reasons, our friend and fellow Trannymania blogger was on a legit rampage all weekend. From throwing drinks Friday night to pulling the fire alarm at Alley Cat on Saturday night — emptying out the place and prompting fire and rescue to show up, just when we thought Providence couldn’t get any more strange, it did. Be warned, bitches, none of this behavior is funny! Well, it’s kind of funny — but it’s also destructive, completely inappropriate, a felony, and most definitely cost Buck and Rande a ton of cash that they could have made at Alleycat on a Saturday night — and Parrys works for them! Well, certainly not anymore — would you get fired from your job if you pulled the fire alarm? Probably!

Anyhow, this is all a textbook example of what to do with your weekend if your goals involve alienating friends, co-workers and bar-owners. On the plus side, Parrys has definitely added some notoriety to her image, which may be a plus in her book — but certainly at some cost. You may read her very sincere public apology to the staff of Alleycat and the Dark Lady HERE.

What do you think?

Okay bitches, answer this: what did the Dark Lady, Alley Cat, Mirabar AND Colosseum all have in common last night? You know, besides the gays.

Can’t guess? They all were ravaged by Hurricane Paris! Now we’re not going to speculate about the possible causes of her hormone imbalance interesting outbursts, but this bitch is certainly out to earn her namesake. Now be aware, everytime we saw her last night, she was mostly her polite, girly self — but none of us needed to actually be in Naw-leans in order to believe the reports, and the hilariousness from last night, all corroborating and from multiple people — is legendary!

First at Dark lady, our girl Ada is up on the bar doing her show in her best Aeon Flux-inspired getup, when Paris decided she’d had enough of Ada’s incompetent bar-dancing and needed to help her out by jumping on the bar and swinging the chandeliers around her on either side — you know, to add an element of danger and risk of lawsuits to Ada’s clearly much safer performance. Ada ended up having trouble with her last song of the night because Kevin up in the DJ booth was having issues getting her CD to work properly. Now we know that these trannies often have trouble bringing in clean CDs that have difficulty playing what with all the scratches and stains all over them, but we’re putting this on one Kevin not working his shit properly. We already knew something was up with him when he played Bad Romance twice, then Love Shack TWICE (a half-hour apart) — we were only there for an hour! Now we’ll tell you what we told Rob Mol, that we hope Kevin was drinking for free up in the DJ booth because we’ll be damned if Buck and Rande are paying him to languish in the DJ booth like that. Now please be reminded, we really like Kevin personally, he’s super cool and we’ve enjoyed every chance we’ve had to speak with him, but this isn’t Cranston bitch!

Anyway, Hurricane Paris took the B-Line to Colosseum, which was bumping all night upstairs at Mythology with our boy DJ Osheen (despite the place being harassed at length by a legit psycho police officer). There, the Hurricane flung shots at a shot girl and one of the owners — one each in the back, before heading to Mirabar, taking down their Christmas tree and running off with one of Mirabar’s stuffed polar bears! This is total Kitty Litter status! Hurricane Paris also reportedly flung a martini glass into Alley Cat’s Christmas tree. What is it with hating on Christmas?

We love us some Paris, but this bitch is just bad for Jesus!

So in a last minute move, we chose to snatch Ada and ride out the storm at Therapy — which on a Friday can surprise you with just about anything. Nigerian black panther meetings? You bet! Candy raver light-up couches? Fuck yes! How about half of Brown University? Well we’d never seen it at Therapy before, but there they were! And what a bizarre crowd… It was kind of like a college party that everyone knew to dress nice for, oh, and didn’t serve liquor. So we ducked behind the empty corner bar to smoke before rocking out on the dance floor — taking comfort that we’d be the only people who’d be back at Therapy… tomorrow.

These are Obama ecstasy pills! Some classy people in Texas sure are creative!

Okay, so we don’t normally post pictures that aren’t local, but this was just too good — and gave us some ideas!

Can someone come up with Cicilline E pills? We can call them “Cicillin-E”s! But why stop at MDMA? Where’s our Kitty Litter schnapps, our deluxe Ada dutches, Miss Gay Rhode Island 2009 saki and Miss Gay Rhode Island 2008 malt liquor?!

“Alternative” Wednesdays are back at Colosseum this week, after a Thanksgiving Eve (which ended up turning out pretty gay anyway). “Alternative” sounds so… outdated, and frankly inappropriate — besides, in Providence, alternative is mainstream. So we’re calling it EVERYTHING- lifestyle, because nobody enjoys being excluded from bangin’ parties. As usual we’ve got our State DJ J.J. Royal, and some super-hot bartenders.

And to help you along, we’ve quite literally drawn you a map! First, we make our ritual stop at Trannymania, then take the B-line from Dark Lady, through the alley and across the bitchy JWU parking lot to the door of Colosseum!

Don’t you just love it?

p.s. — Does anyone notice anything funny about this satellite image????