So local drag icon and fundraising queen Miss Kitty Litter simply refuses to stop making an ass of herself. Okay, that’s not really new — and the ways in which that simple fact manifests itself are endless, but hey, when it throws itself in our face, we form opinions!

Take our latest example — third floor of Mirabar at the bar with Haley Star and the lovely LaDiva Jonz. Kitty lurking by the bar, wrecked off of Irish cream, suddenly begins berating us with F-bombs and other nonsense! We could have only hoped she had a mic handy so that the other half of the room could have heard the tirade. Something about being a scumbag piece of shit something something… So we spent the rest of the night trying to figure out what brought this about — we haven’t posted any pictures of her crotch online in like a year!

Then today it hit us! Military Ball was a benefit for AIDS Care Ocean State! And it’s clear that Kitty was not impressed with our luke-warm reception of the event — this type of Litter-fallout is exactly what happened when we wrote that her Christmas In July party last year sucked (which is universally agreed to have been the truth).

You just can’t criticize The Litter!

Well look who went to the Patriot Cinema and went all Carrie Bradshaw on us!

One of Providence’s most barred trannies, Parrys Hampton has taken to the presses — this time in a column featured in this month’s Options magazine, found HERE. You’d better be careful though, bitch uses some big-ass words (if she did even write it) — “conurbation”, “metamorphosed”, “mediocre”, spell-check be praised!

Aside from that though, you really have to read the article — it’s Miss Hampton’s sensationalizing scare-tactics at their best, this time turning them on, well frankly, us! (which is really the only reason we care, obvi) In short, the article bemoans online blogging and social discourse, going so far as to call out specific stories we’ve written, and use as a fictional whipping boy “bitching-about-something.com” to illustrate a point. The only thing that really bothers us about this is not getting a real plug!

We can’t bitch too hard though, Miss Hampton has blessed up with a lot of crazy to talk about in the past — when she mentions in her article a story we wrote about so-and-so getting banned from a club, clearly it was about her! No matter though, now that Parrys has exhausted the full range of subjects that she’s qualified to go on about, Options magazine will surely find room for more Stonewall poetry next month.

It’s Pride season, bitches, and we brace for it. And we’ve just started.

Why do we brace for it? Because it’s a damn mess!

And it’s because we like the drama. Well, we don’t — you do. Before we get too far ahead though, let’s go back. We know that Mr. Chris Harris would probably rather us all forget about Military Ball last Sunday night at Therapy, but let’s re-hash anyway, you know, before we actually do forget.

Military Ball wasn’t always at Therapy, you know. A few years ago before the unpleasantness that lead to Chris Harris letting his bar staff conduct open bar at Roxy for two hours, it was at Roxy! And it was fantastic. And then it was at Therapy for a couple years and it was fantastic there too! But something happened this year that was probably inevitable, it began to suck. And Harris knew it, you could tell because he got wrecked and left early… Attendance wasn’t bad exactly, it just wasn’t lasting — there was no show, no headlining DJs (yes, Joe and Dena are lovely people, but you know Harris got them both way cheap specifically for the night), and frankly the whole night felt a little forced.

In years past, hosting the gay community at Therapy was kind of a risky bet; not everyone knew that there wasn’t normally a bar there, the little dark back rooms turned immediately into sex rooms and cruising halls, and the big room feel of the main room felt like nothing else in the city — you might have forgotten you were in Providence. And in effort to recreate that feeling, Harris installed mesh netting in the dark back hallways (because the old sex rooms were now blocked by the downstairs DJ booth) to encourage sexual activity, and we caught Harris a couple times unscrewing light bulbs in the mens’ bathroom! He even kept the bar open late for bitches could think that this crazy after-hours club was a total free-for-all — put simply, it was just forced.

No drag queens, no trannies, no regular Providence crews (except us, of course). And it closed down, lights on and everyone out by 5am — we were on the dance floor later than that the night before!

So whatevs, thanks for that. Pride predictions up next…

Well cough up a fast $885,000 and you can!

CLICK HERE for the details on a beautiful, recently renovated “trophy property”
– priced to SELL, SELL, SELL!!

We have it on good authority that this posting is NOT a joke, but it does make us ask a few questions. Like, where did this all come from? And, why choose what is basically craigslist to try and sell a restaurant???

Somethings… well, up!

So last Wednesday at Trannymania, we were treated with the funniest performance we’ve seen in a while. And why was it funny? Because it combines wholesome Disney values with drug abuse, and we all know there’s little people like us find funnier!

Anyhow, Gia Devaroux comes out all frumpy and shit dressed like Mary Poppins, singing the song where she tries to get the kids to clean up their crap — except Gia, with a bag of flour (presumably) turns that spoonful of sugar into a handful of cocaine… and suddenly the increased tempo and Julie Andrews bizarre scat refrain starts to make some serious sense!

Anyhow, here it is, thanks to Miss Jackie Grenga:

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Just click the link, embedding doesn’t always work. Hoe.

Ever go to Trannymania on Wednesday nights and see our crazy-eyed cross-dresser swayin’ back and forth on the stage? Well we’ve spent some time imitating it, even going so far as to suggest that she teach a dance class so as to share this overtly sleazy dance with the world — but still we’ve always wondered where we’ve seen it before!

And here it is, right there in the hooker scene of Full Metal Jacket, appropriately enough. In addition to the dance, which is dead on, there really isn’t much about this scene that doesn’t remind us of Suzie… or Trannymania… or Divine even!

FF to the :46 sec mark for the proof! We can’t stop watching it!

Okay, we’re only going to be slightly ridiculous about this…

So since our post last week about accepting an offer to contribute work to the purposefully-gay local mag GET, we’ve been slowly getting acquainted via email with GET’s publisher Bonnie Simon. Now Bonnie’s been a total peach to us the entire time, very chummy (maybe a little too friendly, too fast) but we didn’t think much of it — just wanted to get some work out and feel satisfied with ourselves.

So we sent over a 500-word article about the dreaded Saaabbbllleee, which, somehow we haven’t gotten into depth in on Bitchidence.com — although the Trannymania blog couldn’t have been more explicit. Anyhow, the article wasn’t lewd and littered with profanity (like you might expect), but it was a little salacious and we certainly weren’t looking to tone ourselves down for GET. Bonnie fucking loved it. Although, that’s all she said — and that’s when we should have started to be suspicious!

You see, we’d already heard from a couple of reputable people that Bonnie was difficult to work with (five, actually), and while we’d made mention to her about Bitchidence.com, we weren’t completely sure that she’d actually visited and read our diatribe — and it turns out that she hadn’t! Now she admitted today that she “dropped the ball” by asking us to contribute to GET (gee, thanks), but seemed completely sincere when she admitted (after finally reading our rather gentle criticism of GET) that her magazine and Bitchidence.com were probably not good matches for one another. And we couldn’t agree more — our porn stars, trannies, drag shows, pageants, bar fights, lube wrestlers, feature films, Fat Scott, and Therapy-Bomb Dome animations have absolutely no place among twelve pages of b&w East Providence restaurant adds, interviews with beleaguered social workers on arcane marriage law, and labored essays bemoaning the word “bitch”. For christ’s sake, that’s our goddamn name!

So here’s us wishing GET a successful future — hopefully blessed with improved production value, clearer purpose and social relevance.

And if you bitches are at all interested in the article we wrote about Sable, you can read it (unedited, and clearly in support of GET) below. It’s kind of wordy and out of date for Bitchidence, but we’ll be damned if Bonnie attempts to print it anyway after another change of heart!

Enjoy!

Sable & the Forces of Gossip

Greetings, bitches. If you’re reading this, or simply scanning through your shiny, new copy of GET ­­– then you’ve stumbled across my very first contribution to this most robust, GLTB-focused local mag. So go you.

If you’re young (or just young upstairs), then you know how many of us tend to substitute an online presence with a real one. Your Facebook wall and your tagged photos are quickly becoming very acceptable versions of you for people to interact with when you’re not physically around (creepy). In the beginning stages of social networks like Facebook, it was our goal to represent ourselves with as much accuracy as possible — though in a totally innocent way — since the internet seemed to be one of the only places you could be gay and truly honest. Unfortunately, nobody five or six years ago would have believed how quickly polite online society could be turned against us.

I’m talking specifically about the infamous (yet still anonymous) Sable, a short-lived local Providence phenomenon. If you were out and about in the bars downtown, or spent more than a few minutes online early last month, you’d have come across her name. The trouble was, “Sable” wasn’t a real person — she only ever existed online; taking time every couple of days to release via Facebook unbelievably juicy details pertaining to anyone and anything else that could get the community to gossip and point fingers. For example, who had sex with who before showing up to their bartending job on drugs prior to getting fired. None of it was true (although what little was true gave the rest traction), but for weeks, “Sable” managed to blend online fantasy with reality, affecting personal relationships and creating social unrest that was both destructive and captivating. Well, until her Facebook account was deleted, anyway. The fallout from such silliness though, is the point of this story. The ongoing hunt to discover the true identity of Sable, although fruitless, became rather dramatic as it threatened to tarnish reputations and derail weekly club nights (Miss Sarah Beyers’ Fusion Tuesdays at Union).

But this was weeks ago, so why bring it up now? Because as stupid as it all really was, looking back it provides us with a rather telling look at the state of Providence’s under-40 gay community — since there are actually two of them — the one we get when you sit around at The Stable on a Sunday afternoon, and the one you find when you’re sitting at home online sifting through someone’s vacation photos of Brazil.

So who the hell was Sable? Well, I still don’t know, but it’s really too bad she wasn’t selling something, because this was an excellent exercise in online viral advertising, and generating unstoppable buzz. That, or we’re all way too susceptible to the whims of some tricky queen. Either way, once we all figure out who she was, after she gets her ass kicked by a few of her own targets, I’ll shake her hand.

see more Epic Fails

Okay we just about shit ourselves when we saw this…

Now we certainly can’t verify this as Providence’s beloved Gallery owner, but we can’t rule it out either! BTW check out the comments on the actual Failblog.org post — they’re just fantastic!

Okay well now that it’s totally on the news, we’re hopping on this!

We found out about this like a week ago, but that doesn’t make it any less funny. We don’t know exactly what the story on NBC 10 said because we didn’t see it — but that doesn’t matter because we know what happened from the people who lived it. Take that, investigative journalism!

So last week, Touch’s manager Richy (whom we know personally) and his friend, former 2xcess dancer Devin, whom you can find pictured here (sort of), were at State for a birthday party. Not unusual, and certainly not unusual for their check to soar into the hundreds of dollars as the night progressed. What was out of the ordinary was when double-trouble decided to screw on the check around the $700 mark — although not without supposedly working out some sort of deal with one of State’s managers first.

So for the following several days, Richy’s been chased around by State’s managers for this cash — and rightfully so, it’s not like it was a $50 tab that could be settled on their next visit. So finally, Richy is tracked down at Touch while at work by State’s two managers and the three disappear into Touch’s back office. In the office, Richy refuses to give the cash up until they threaten to hold his iPhone as collateral, then Richy bolts from the bar and the State guys take the cash directly from the register — squaring up the debt with State.

This leaves Richy with a $700 debt to Touch, which Touch’s owner is now extremely displeased with, obvi. So, in effort to make State look bad here, Touch’s management refers to their security cameras which clearly show State’s managers taking exactly $700 directly out of the register — which was a sloppy thing for them to do — they should have made someone from Touch do it themselves. Now, the story can be twisted any way Touch likes!

Stupid State managers, sneaky Touch bitches!

So last week we were surprised to be contacted by a Ms. Bonnie Simon, publisher of GET Magazine, and regular Bitchidence.com visitor — about nothing less than becoming a contributor to her local publication. In case you’re not aware, GET is one of Rhode Island’s newest GLTB-oriented full-size, glossy magazines that you can often find laying around in restaurants and bars like Downcity (where we just picked up May’s issue) and the Dark Lady. Frankly, it’s what Divine Providence would likely have turned into, given more resources, man power and creativity.

We’ll admit though, we’ve flipped through GET several times over the last few months, and while it’s clearly focused on the Providence’s gay community, it tends to dwell on either the minute details of marriage and adoption law, or other issues that we care even less about. And if we don’t care about what’s in it (there aren’t even any racy photos or tacky personal adds to make fun of), then why should you?

Well it’s since become our little pet project to help GET Magazine change that! And we might not even have to resort to being sleazy! Well, being a little juicay never hurt anyone… Either way, this sounds to us like it’s going to be a lot of fun.

June’s issue is likely to be our first, so will you start reading GET Magazine once we’re in it?